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Letter to Santa, 'Dear Santa, Some Assembly Required. Timmy'
"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"
'Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk. Timmy.'
"My name is S. Claus and I'm a milk-and-cookie-oholic."
Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.
Tags:gluten-free, gluten-free cookie, gluten-free cookies, gluten-free biscuit, gluten-free biscuits, organic, health nut, health nuts, health food, santa, santa claus, father christmas, milk and cookies, christmas, xmas, x-mas, present, presents, christmas present, christmas presents, bad food, unwanted food, gross, inedible
Santa Comes Down The Chimney to see a Giant Mouse Trap.
Dear Suzy and Billy, Kindly go stuff your almond milk and gluten free chia cookies you smug little fat-shamers. Santa.
Tags:cookie, cookies, gluten free, biscuit, biscuits, gluten-free, almond milk, milk and cookies, fat shamer, fat shamers, fat-shamer, fat-shamers, santa, santa claus, father christmas, saint nick, saint nicholas, smug, health food, health foods, healthy snack, healthy snacks, christmas eve, tradition, traditions
"Dear Santa, Enjoy the fat-free cookies, although you don't strike me as health-conscious."
Tags:anta, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, food, cookie, cookies, milk, milk and cookies, letter, letters, note, notes, fat-free, diet, diets, watching weight, health, health-conscious, healthy eating, eating healthy, dietary habits, eating habits, unhealthy, unhealthy diet, healthy diet, unhealthy diets, healthy diets, low-calorie, fat free, low calorie, diet-friendly, food trend, food trends, trend, trends, trendy, letter to santa, letters to santa
'So...your idea is to sue milk and cookie companies for making you obese?'
"So, little Andy is a lawyer now!"
Tags:christmas, christmas cookie, christmas cookies, legal disclaimer, legal disclaimer, legal notice, legal notices, legal disclaimers, milk, milk and cookies, santa, santa claus, father christmas, kris kringle, st. nick, st nicholas, saint nick, saint nicholas, lawyer, lawyers, nut allergy, nut allergies, allergy warning, allergy warning, allergic, allergic reaction, allergic reactions, nut, nuts
"In accordance with the by-laws of this corporation, you get all the milk you want but only two cookies each."
Tags:milk, cookies, milk and cookies, board room, board rooms, board meeting, board meetings, boardroom meeting, boardroom meetings, boardroom, boardrooms, executive, executives, c-suite, c suite, corporate culture, corporation, corporations, by-law, by-laws, rules, rule, regulation, regulations, business meeting, business meetings, meeting, meetings, exec, greed, greedy, greediness, adults, adulthood
"First, milk and cookies, Excellency, then a nap, and then OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!"
Tags:off with their heads, king, kings, ruler, rulers, servant, servant, agenda, agendas, on the agenda, schedule, schedules, milk and cookies, nap, naps, napping, nap time, naptime, serve, serving, servitude, pander, pandering, worship, worshipping, mother, mothering, look after, looking after, royal, royalty, leader, leaders, child, kid, kids, childhood, mollycoddle, mollycoddling, coddle, coddling, cosset, indulge, indulgent, overindulge, overindulgent, contrast, unexpected, assassination, assassinations
'So much for the milk and cookies. How do you take your eggs in the morning?'
"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"
"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."
Santa School Cafeterias.
'Your son is fine, but tell him to stay away from the milk.'
Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.
Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.
Got Milk...And Cookies?
Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.
'I just love Christmas!'
An obese Rudolph poses question:'You really didn't think SANTA eats all the cookies did you?'