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"Three 'a's, of course, in Barbara?"
"He ain't heavy, Father. He's a noodle."
"Today's sermon will be followed immediately by a rebuttal from the opposition."
"Thank God you're here, first I need your help assembling this Ikea exorcism futon."
Tags:flatpack furniture, flatpack, flatpacks, furniture, furnitures, priest, priests, exorcism, exorcist, exorcists, futon, futons, instruction booklet, instruction guide, instructions, minister, ministers, preacher, preachers, demon, demons, possession, possessions, devil, devils, haunting, hauntings, haunted
"It's not just the church that needs evangelists. So does big oil."
Tags:church, churches, evangelist, evangelists, evangelical, evangelicals, big oil, oil company, oil companies, spokesman, spokesmen, spokesperson, spokespeople, praise, praises, praising, shill, shills, shilling, corporation, corporations, megacorporation, megacorporations, mega-corporation, mega-corporations, run interference, runs interference, running interference, minister, ministers, reverend, reverends, priest, priests, pastor, pastors
Priest getting stained glass glasses.
"We'd like you to leave out the poorer, sickness, and death parts - they're a little dark."
Tags:vow, vows, marriage vow, marriage vows, personal vow, personal vows, marriage ceremony, marriage ceremonies, 'til death do us part, depressing, depression, depression, dark, sickness, wedding, weddings, bride, brides, groom, grooms, minister, ministers, request, requests, requesting, marriage vow, marriage vows, priest, priests, favor, favors, favour, favours, ask a favor, asking a favor
"And the Lord spoke to the children of Israel and said, 'Thou must forswear these practices which are a blasphemy and an abomination in my sight, you know what I'm saying?'"
Tags:religion, religious, church, churches, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, preacher, preachers, sermon, sermons, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, commandment, commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, decalogue, casual, informal, understandable, slang, modern language, modern english, modern life, you know
"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."
Tags:religion, religious, church, churches, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, sermon, sermons, parish, congregation, congregations, parishioner, parishioners, church-goer, church-goers, sick, sickness, ill, illness, disease, diseases, death, dying, church fund, church funds, donation, donations, offering, offerings, money, punishments, blessing, blessings, money-hungry, greedy, greed, sins, grotesque
"I'm afraid this is auf Wiedersehen, Padre. Estelle and I are setting up our own little religion."
"Stop me if you heard this one."
"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, beauty, attractiveness, out of his league, mismatched, wedding, weddings, wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies, wedding vows, vows, exchanging vows, saying i do, bride, brides, groom, grooms, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, preacher, preachers
"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."
Tags:wedding, weddings, wedding vow, wedding vows, marriage vow, marriage vows, vow, vows, personal wedding vow, personal wedding vows, writing your own vows, vicar, vicars, minister, ministers, officiant, officiants, passive aggressive, passive aggressiveness, traditional vows, groom, grooms, happy couple, happy couples, same-sex wedding, same-sex weddings, gay wedding, gay weddings, wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies
"And may the Lord in his wisdom see to it that we get our hands on some of that government scratch."
"If there is anyone who objects to this union, either here or on the Internet, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Tags:relationship, relationships, wedding, weddings, marriage, marriages, wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies, vow, vows, bride, brides, groom, grooms, webcam, webcams, technology, modern life, online, internet, streaming, live streaming, live, live video, video feed, live videos, video feeds, camera, cameras, video camera, video cameras, audience, speak now or forever hold your peace, object, objection, objections, minister, ministers, priest, priests, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, modern life, modern wedding, modern weddings, broadcast, broadcasts, broadcasting, computer, computers, head camera, head cameras, action camera, action cameras
"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."
Tags:tonsil hockey, priest, priests, minister, ministers, reverend, reverends, vicar, vicars, modern, modern times, pastor, pastors, wedding, weddings, marriage ceremony, marriage ceremonies, bride, brides, groom, grooms, casual, casualness, punk, punks, punk rock, informal, informality, make out, makes out, making out
"I see that you work for one of those faith-based organizations."
Tags:faith, faiths, faith based, faith-based, organisation, organization, organisations, organizations, priest, priests, minister, ministers, vicar, vicars, priesthood, priesthoods, religious charity, religious charities, religious belief, religious beliefs, business network, business networks, business networking
"How many bad habits do you have to have to equal once vice?"
Tags:habit, habits, bad habit, bad habits, sins, vice, vices, morality, ethics, ethical, penance, forgiveness, hail mary, priest, priests, minister, ministers, religion, repentance, repent, mortal sin, mortal sins, religion, catholicism, christianity, church, churches, places of worship, place of worship, level of offense, guilt, conscience
"So from now on, the rabbi, the priest and the minister all walk into a pharmacy, O.K.?"
Tags:political correctness, politically correct, pc, p.c., priest, priests, minister, ministers, rabbi, rabbis, political incorrect, political incorrectness, pharmacy, pharmacies, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, humor, humour, lobby, lobbyist, lobbyists, lobbying, political lobby, political lobbies, political lobbyist, political lobbyists, campaign, campaigns, joker, jokers, joke, jokes, humourist, humourists, humorist, humorists
'Ed moves that we buy new choir slickers and adjourn for pizza. Do I hear a second?'
'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'
'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'
'The love of money is the root of all evil? Is that the whole treasurer's report?'
"No, a question period will not follow!"
Tags:sermon, sermons, jesus, sermon on the mount, preacher, preachers, minister, ministers, ministry, prophet, prophets, prophecy, prophecies, worship, worships, question session, questions sessions, q&a, q & a, question and answer session, question, questions, theology, theologian, theologians, religious debate, religious debates, religious belief, religious beliefs