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"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"
Tags:doctor, doctors, md, mds, hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, illness, illnesses, fatally ill, fatal illness, deadly disease, deadly diseases, medication, medications, taking medications, miracle, miracles, miracle cure, miracle cures, miracle drug, miracle drugs, drug, drugs, dying, old age, refuse help, refusing help, refuse medication, refusing medications, drug trial, drug trials
'what do you mean 'Don't expect miracles'? Why shouldn't I expect miracles?'
First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'
'I didn't say it was a miracle drug. I said it's a miracle if you could get him to take it!'
"We came up with a pill that cures everything...but I'm warning you, it's gonna be expensive."
"Relax! He's in good hands!!"
Tags:healers, healer, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, miracle, miracles, faith healer, faith healers, faith healing, miracle cure, miracle cures, patient, patients, healthcare, surgical procedure, surgical procedures, halo, halos, jesus, operation, operations, operating theatre, operating theater, medical malpractice
'The annoying hair, the feminine voice, the high temperature...I'm prescribing 200mg of Bieber fever reliever twice daily. Go ahead and eat three right now.'
'Satchel...Why are you crying?'
"This is real miracle drug. It costs less this year than it cost last year."
Tags:pharmacy, pharmacies, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, drug company, drug companies, miracle drug, miracle drugs, miracle cure, miracle cures, drug prices, drug costs, medication, medications, medicine, medicines, prescription cost, prescription costs, medical bills, healthcare costs, healthcare bills
"I guarantee it. Don't ask any questions."
Tags:guarantee, guarantees, alchemist, alchemists, alchemy, pharmacy, pharmacies, pharmacist, pharmacists, chemist, chemists, prescription, prescriptions, drug, drugs, medicine, medicines, medication, medications, wizard, wizards, magician, magicians, pharmaceuticals, miracle cure, miracle cures, miracle drug, miracle drugs, magic
'Well ma'am essentially we freeze the client until a cure can be found, unfortunately Mrs.Butterball, I don't think there will ever be a cure for thanksgiving.'
Tags:turkey, turkeys, thanksgiving, thanksgivings, meal, meals, cryogenics, freeze, freezing, cure, cures, miracle cure, miracle cures, illness, illnesses, ill, sick, sickness, sicknesses, disease, diseases, scientist, scientists, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"It's a list of possible side effects."
'You should probably just ignore that. Your insurance doesn't even begin to cover it.'
Email Forwards - Self Treatment for Hemorrhoids.
'I'm prescribing chicken soup, but if you insist on a pill, swallow a bouillon cube.'
'Okay - anybody who is still paralyzed because my 250-Euro wonder cure hasn't worked, get up and shake your arms and I'll pay back the money!'
'I can ask, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't do breast enhancements.'
'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'
'It's been murder since it was announced that eyes of newt might be a cancer cure.'
Dr. Henry Jekyll's miracle hair restorer.
You urgently need a holiday, and I suggest Lourdes!
"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"
"At $100 a bottle I think I'll stick to lying."