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'The specialist gave me this medicine for my hearing loss. He said two drops a day in my beer, but so far I haven't noticed any improvements.'
'I didn't say to hook up the 'rain gear'!'
"I thought tonight we're gonna party like it's 1969."
'Actually I asked for a large 'Cola'.'
Tags:koala, koalas, koala bear, koala bears, bear, bears, mishear, mishears, misheard, mishearing, cola, drink, drinks, drinking, drank, order, orders, ordering, ordered, orderer, orderers, customer, customers, cashier, cashiers, assistant, assistants, fast food, mistake, mistakes, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'
"Impressive, but I meant accounting tricks."
Tags:accounting, accountant, accountants, accounting tricks, imaginative accounting, trick, tricks, circus trick, circus tricks, circus skills, juggling, juggling fire, unicycle, unicycles, unicycling, impressive skills, impressive tricks, day job, day jobs, office, offices, cubicle, cubicles, misunderstanding, misunderstood, misheard, miscommunication
After his career in advertising faded, Hamburger Helper tried his hand in health care... It wouldn't last.
"To hell with you, too."
Tags:to hell with you, peace be with you, priest, priests, mass, masses, catholic, catholics, catholic church, catholic mass, catholic masses, church service, church services, mishear, mishears, mishearing, misheard, faux pas, automatic response, automatic responses, inappropriate response, inappropriate responses, profanity, profane, blasphemy, blasphemer, blasphemers
'Ark, Noah - not arc!'
Stairway To Henry
Tags:pun, puns, punnyh, famous, famously, famously misheard, misheard, lyric, lyrics, famously misheard lyrics, misheard lyrics, misunderstood, misunderstanding, mix up, mix-up, stairway to, stairway, play on words, word play, word-pay, music, musical, rock, rock music, surreal, strange, stairway to heaven
'Mentor? I'm sorry, I thought you wanted a TORmentor.'
'You never listen to me, you only hear what you want to hear!'
"Must you always think of work? That's Placido Domingo, not 'Placebo"
Things That It Wasn't
Tags:adam, eve, adam and steve, misheard, mishear, mishearing, misunderstood, misunderstanding, alternate, alternate universe, parallel universe, evel, knievel, evel knievel, saturday, saturday night, garden of good and evil, steve mcqueen, mic up, mixups, mix-ups, mix-up, hear, hearing, comprehension, comprehend, film, films, movie, movies, pop culture, reference, famous, fame
"Will you pull your stupid pants up? This is a RETINAL scanner you idiot."
Tags:retinal scan, retinal scans, rectal scan, rectal scans, proctologist, proctology, proctologists, eye doctor, eye doctors, ophthalmology, ophthalmologist, ophthalmologists, optometry, optometrist, optometrists, drop your pants, dropping your pants, drop your trousers, dropping your trousers, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, mishear, mishears, misheard
"Who said that?"
"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"
"What the hell do you want kelp for?"
Tags:dog, dogs, rescue, rescues, rescue dog, rescue dogs, dog owner, dog owners, rescuing, rescuer, rescuers, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old-age, old age, pensioner, pensioners, deaf, deafness, hearing loss, hearing problem, hearing problems, misheard, mishear, mishearing
"No, that's great, Hon. But I asked you to take my mother to the 'Senior Center!'"
'This is a gatored community... not a gated community!'
A man asks for directions
Nigel had slightly misheard the career guidance officer's advice, cop dusting turned out to be a far less exciting occupation than he had hoped for...
Tags:misunderstanding, misunderstandings, misheard, mishearing, career, careers, counsellor, counsellors, counselor, counselors, advisor, advisors, adviser, advisers, guidance, crop dusting, crop duster, crop dusters, feather duster, feather dusters, career plan, career plans, career path, career paths
'Did you remember the kola nuts. Lenny?'
'No, not mental --- metal fatigue.'
"You might need to remind Mrs. Sanders it's 'bring your DAUGHTER to work' day."