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Will pull fire alarm so you can ditch your online date.
"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."
'We have an opening for a square peg in a round hole.'
'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'
"I'm dating a turtle, Hank. If you've got a better cry for help, I'm all ears."
"Your good cholesterol is bad, your bad cholesterol is good and your socks don't match."
"That tree doesn't belong in this room."
"Did I tell you that I'm a non-smoker?"
'Get me two new officers to play good cop bad cop.'
'Why do I always fall for the guys who treat me like dirt?'
'Stop saying that! There is no 'warm and fuzzy' in hockey!'
Welcome to the Fall semester new roommates!
New roommates, welcome to Oswego Ewe's new semester.
'I asked you to take off the shoes because they don't match your outfit.'
'I know my socks don't match, but they don't get along.'
...now I just can't keep silent - those ties don't go together at all.