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"Time after time it's the same thing: you hear a knock—you open the door—and nobody's there!"
"Howard! I thought you'd run off with another woman!"
Tags:hammock, hammocks, married life, married couple, married couples, marital problem, marital problems, marriage problem, marriage problems, affair, affairs, adulterer, adulterers, adultery, infidelity, unfaithful, unfaithfulness, missing person, missing persons, missing people, wife, wives, neglect, negligent, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns, gardener, gardeners, garden chore, garden chores, yard work, yardwork
"I've just found out what happened to the Hendersons."
'Yes, I know you've been calling here for years trying to get a hold of Mr. Shelton, but he isn't in right now. . . he hasn't returned from his first-ever appraisal!'
"Well, if you haven't seen him, do you know a good recipe for puff pastry?"
"Have you tried looking in the ocean?"
Tags:ocean, oceans, ahab, captain ahab, moby dick, melville, herman melville, white whale, white whales, nemesis, nemeses, arch nemesis, arch nemeses, enemy, enemies, rival, rivals, arch rival, arch rivals, novel, novels, novelist, novelists, search, searches, searching, missing person, missing people, find, finds, finding, advice, obvious
'He's not here. If you're lost without him, you can always stay and see if he tries to find you.'
"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"
"There you are!"
Tags:missing people, missing person, missing persons, bureau of missing persons, there you are, found, find, incompetent, incompetence, missing people, disappear, disappearances, disappearance, disappearing, going missing, missing persons unit, governments, public service, public services, failing services, police, detective, detectives, investigator, investigators
Missing Sock Poster
"It's your captors. They want to know where you are."
Detective Jim and his bloodhound on yet another case.
'Doesn't ring any bells...'
"We have to be missing twenty-four hours before I consider us lost."
Tags:lost, get lost, getting lost, drive, drives, driving, driver, drivers, missing, missing person, missing persons, refusing to ask for directions, gender stereotype, gender stereotypes, man, husband, husbands, deflect, deflects, deflecting, refusing to admit, refusal to admit, driving directions, refuse to ask, refusing to ask, stereotypical, male, males, car, cars, road trip, road trips, map, maps, satnav, satnavs, sat-nav, sat-navs, satellite navigation, satellite navigation system, satellite navigation systems
"Have I found Jesus? I didn't know he was missing!!"
"What have you done with Dr. Millmoss?"
Tags:millmoss, dr. millmoss, hippo, hippos, hippopotamus, hippopotamuses, trample, tramples, trampling, suspicious, suspicion, suspicions, accuse, accuses, accusation, accusations, accusing, question, questions, query, queries, missing, missing person, missing persons, explorer, explorers, exploration, naturalist, naturalists, nature, nature lover, nature lovers, animal world, animal life
'Describe your wife please.'
"We found him sir. He's been living on Venus under a false identity."
Bureau of Missing Constitutional Rights.
"Have you seen this bug? It's going around."
Tags:virus, viruses, bug, bugs, illness, illnesses, sick, sickness, sicknesses, ill, detective, detectives, investigate, investigator, investigators, infection, infections, biology, doctor, doctors, disease, diseases, missing person, missing persons, suspect, suspects, wanted poster, wanted posters, contagion, contagions, contagious
Missing my hair.
Tags:missing poster, missing posters, missing person, missing persons, missing persons poster, missing persons posters, hair, hair loss, lossing hairbaldness, balding, bald, male pattern baldness, aging, getting old, middle age problems, middle age issues, hairstyles, grooming, beauty standards, beauty
"Last week, my husband waded into the cords behind our TV to untangle them, and I haven't seen him since."
'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'
Missing: Have you seen these sheep?
Tags:little bo peep, bo peep, sheep, nursery rhymes, nursery song, nursery songs, children's literature, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, missing person, missing people, shepherd, shepherds, shepherdess, shepherdesses, nursery rhyme, fairy tale, child's tale, milk, milk carton, missing, lost, milk cartons
"I want to see you two in my office."