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"Time after time it's the same thing: you hear a knock—you open the door—and nobody's there!"
"Knew 'em - ate 'em."
"Howard! I thought you'd run off with another woman!"
Tags:hammock, hammocks, married life, married couple, married couples, marital problem, marital problems, marriage problem, marriage problems, affair, affairs, adulterer, adulterers, infidelity, unfaithfulness, missing person, missing persons, missing people, wife, wives, neglect, negligent, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns, gardener, gardeners, garden chore, garden chores, yard work, yardwork
"I've just found out what happened to the Hendersons."
"Damn. Isn't that the kid you swallowed?"
Tags:whale, whales, breakfast, breakfasts, breakfast cereal, milk carton, milk cartons, missing persons, missing person, missing person ad, missing person ads, swallowed by a whale, swallow, swallows, swallowed, marine mammal, marine mammals, blue whale, blue whales, jonah and the whale, bible story, bible stories, bible
'Yes, I know you've been calling here for years trying to get a hold of Mr. Shelton, but he isn't in right now. . . he hasn't returned from his first-ever appraisal!'
"Well, if you haven't seen him, do you know a good recipe for puff pastry?"
"Have you tried looking in the ocean?"
Tags:ocean, oceans, ahab, captain ahab, moby dick, melville, herman melville, white whale, white whales, nemesis, nemeses, arch nemesis, arch nemeses, enemy, enemies, rival, rivals, arch rival, arch rivals, novel, novels, novelist, novelists, search, searches, searching, missing person, missing people, find, finds, finding, advice, obvious
'He's not here. If you're lost without him, you can always stay and see if he tries to find you.'
"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"
"There you are!"
Tags:missing people, missing person, missing persons, bureau of missing persons, there you are, found, find, incompetent, incompetence, missing people, disappear, disappearances, disappearance, disappearing, going missing, missing persons unit, governments, public service, public services, failing services, police, detective, detectives, investigator, investigators
Missing Sock Poster
"It's your captors. They want to know where you are."
"Yes, a little blonde girl was here about a month ago. We ate her."
Tags:ranger, rangers, park ranger, park rangers, wood, woods, woodland, forest, forests, goldilocks, goldilocks and the three bears, fairy tale, fairy tales, bear, bears, wild bear, wild bears, family, families, miss, missing, porridge, eat, eats, eating, ate, missing person, missing people, month, months, trespass, tresspasser, trespassers, trespassing
Detective Jim and his bloodhound on yet another case.
'Doesn't ring any bells...'
Executive search party
"Has anyone heard from Stan since he went to the market?"
Tags:this little piggy, this little pig, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, market, went to market, markets, pig, pigs, meat, meat industry, missing person, missing people, missing, died, die, death, slaughtered, slaughter, went to slaughter, slaughtering, slaughtered for market, dark humour, dark humor, black humour, black humor
"We have to be missing twenty-four hours before I consider us lost."
Tags:lost, get lost, getting lost, drive, drives, driving, driver, drivers, missing, missing person, missing persons, refusing to ask for directions, gender stereotype, man, husband, husbands, deflect, deflects, deflecting, refusing to admit, refusal to admit, driving directions, refuse to ask, refusing to ask, stereotypical, male, males, car, cars, road trip, road trips, map, maps, satnav, satnavs, sat-nav, sat-navs, satellite navigation, satellite navigation system, satellite navigation systems
"Have I found Jesus? I didn't know he was missing!!"
"What have you done with Dr. Millmoss?"
Tags:millmoss, dr. millmoss, hippo, hippos, hippopotamus, hippopotamuses, trample, tramples, trampling, suspicious, suspicion, suspicions, accuse, accuses, accusation, accusations, accusing, question, questions, query, queries, missing, missing person, missing persons, explorer, explorers, exploration, naturalist, naturalists, nature, nature lover, nature lovers, animal world, animal life
'Describe your wife please.'
"We found him sir. He's been living on Venus under a false identity."
"No one's seen Mr. Brownstein all week, but wait, there's his black box."
Bureau of Missing Constitutional Rights.