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'Somehow your medical records got faxed to a complete stranger. He has no idea what's wrong with you either.'
'I have to say I had a different impression of what Reiki is all about.'
'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'
'Silent type, eh?'
'Anyway, to make a long story short, the medical examiner who performed your autopsy was fired.'
'He's right. We screwed up.'
'What the... there's the gold earring I lost when we did his triple bypass four years ago.'
'One letter at a time.'
"Gosh and I thought it was a barbershop"
Tags:lighthouse, sea, seas, ocean, oceans, coast, coastal, coast line, lighthouses, lamp, lamp lighter, lamp lighters, isolated, isolation, isolate, directions, middle of nowhere, lost, lost at sea, high seas, castaway, shipwreck, ship wreck, lifeboat, lifeboats, rescued, rescue, mistake, mistaken, mistakenly, barber, barbers, barber pole, barber's pole, barber poles, stripe, stripes, striped, relief, the sticks, out of the way, challenge, challenges, logistics, logistic
"Wait a minute. We're lemurs! Lemurs!"
Tags:lemur, lemurs, primate, primates, primatologist, primatologists, primatology, lemming, lemmings, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, misunderstood, accident, accidents, suicidal, regret, regrets, regretting, warning, warnings, warn, warns, madagascar, soundalike, soundalikes, fatal mistake, fatal mistakes, mistake, mistakes, mistaken, identity crisis
"I think I'm finally ready to admit that I was non-right."
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, shrink, shrinks, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, patient, patients, mental health, admitting your mistakes, admitting you were wrong, incorrect, wrong, mistake, mistakes, mistaken, conceding
"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."
'I'm sorry, does that say $777? It should be $111. I mistakenly calculated your bill in dog dollars.'
When the President's adviser makes a mistake.
Too late, Andy discovers that Red Bull doesn't, in fact, give you wings.
"Oh, that Jane. I thought you were talking about Jane Austen."
"You're thinking of Zeus—he throws the lightning bolts."
Tags:god, gods, greek god, greek gods, ancient greeks, the ancient greeks, greek mythology, mythology, pagan belief, pagan beliefs, pagan, pagans, zeuz, god of lightning, lightning god, shovel, shovels, throwing dirt, mistake, mistaken, celebrity, celebrities, look alike, look alikes, look-alike, look-alikes, mount olympus, god of thunder, thunder god
'I believe you want the loan officer. He's two doors down.'
Tags:lone rangers, loan officer, loan officers, loan, loans, loaning, loaned, borrow, borrows, borrowing, borrowed, mistake, mistakes, mistaken, mistook, money, moneys, ranger, ranges, lone, lonesome, visit, visits, visiting, visitor, visitors, direct, directs, directing, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'I've told you a hundred times! NEVER PUT METAL IN THE MICROWAVE!'
Magic kit - make anything mysteriously disappear.
'I didn't mean a p-e-a sample.'
"I don't get all the hype about treadmill desks."
Tags:treadmill, treadmills, tread mill, tread mills, tread-mills, tread-mills, exercise machines, exercise machines, exercising machines, exercising machine, running machine, running machines, office, offices, office workers, office workers, office cubicle, office cubicles, mistake, mistaken, misconception, misconceived, oblivious, health conscious, health obsessed, healthy living, healthy lifestyle, exercised obsessed, exercise obsession, exercise obsession disorder, treadmill desks, treadmill desks, tread mill desk, tread-mill desk, running machine desks, running machine desks, losing weight, lose weight, obese, obesity, over weight, over-weight, office walking desk, office walking desks, health craze, health fad, impractical, impracticality, blind, blindness, right under your nose
"A cup of java? Have you tried the Thai restaurant?"
Tags:dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, cooking, diner, diners, restaurant, restaurants, cafe, cafes, java, indonesia, thai, thailand, coffee, coffees, confused, confusion, mistake, mistakes, mistaken, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, miscommunication, word play, wordplay
Tags:tomb, tombs, vampire, vampires, victorian, victorians, historical, myth, myths, mythology, mythological, legend, legends, london, grave, graves, grave robber, grave robbers, language, word play, word-play, play on words, wrong, mistake, mistaken, bummer, gothic, slang, slangs, modern slang, modern life
'... 'Bite it,' I said. 'It's catch and release,' I said ... Now I feel horrible.'
Tags:fish, fishing, fisher, fishers, fishes, fished, fisherman, fishermen, bass, tournament, fish fry, catch and release, bite it, bite, bitten, catch, catches, catcher, catchers, caught, kill, killed, kills, tricked, trick, tricks, lie, lied, liar, lying, mistake, mistaken, mistakes, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers