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Mistaken Identity Theft
"Does this dress make me look Republican?"
"Could you not call me Ray this time?"
"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"
"You're accidentally debriefing a bowl of mushy oranges and dead canaries."
'What do you mean you're not Dave?'
"I am not Crazy Horse! Crazy Horse is a man. I'm Fred."
"I could perscribe a massive amount of painkillers, but I'm the computer repairman."
"I don't care if she is a tape dispenser. I love her."
Cow uses Alphorn as a toilet
'What a coincedence! I actually have an identical twin brother who has the same name as you.' - 'No kidding? I have one who has the same name as you!'
"All right, so there's been a mistake. Deal with it!"
"Twenty years ago I was cleaning this cell and someone locked the door behind me. I'm a janitor here. They still don't believe me."
'Thank God...Honey, I'm home!'
Squirrel mistakes a dog's nose for a nut.
"Before you sentence me, I'd like to remind the court that I was just passing through the building looking for a bathroom."
"That bright light wasn't Heaven. It was a Chrysler."
The Grim Reaper and the Twins
"I don't care if it's not you. That's the Social Security number you've been using."
'The databank is slightly mistaken. I'm not an alcoholic. I never attempted to assassinate the govenor. I havne't been married 17 times. I don't owe $66,000 in gambling debts...'
"Oh, sorry. Wrong room!"
Bill Goat Challenging a Viking
'No! Not cell phone! Not TV remote! Human! Human being!'
"What? You mean this old thing?"
'In case you haven't notices, I'm not a parrot, ironically, however, I could really go for a saltine right about now.'