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'It's a bird, it's a plane...it's superman! Oh brother, a bird and a plane aren't even close to the same size...I really need some new glasses.'
'I have to say I had a different impression of what Reiki is all about.'
'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'
'You know there was time there, about 40,000 years ago, when we could have completely wiped them out if we had put our minds to it.'
The Department of Lessons Learned...
'The next time you decide to send a Valentine's email...don't press 'send all' by mistake.'
"I went out on a limb to hire you. Dolan."
Tags:monkey, monkeys, out on a limb, going out on a limb, risk, risks, taking risks, risk taker, risk takers, hiring process, new employee, new employees, mistake, mistakes, bad employee, bad employees, disappointment, disappointments, play on words, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers
"Forty-one years of marriage. That's a long, long learning curve."
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, bad relationship, bad relationships, learning curve, learning curves, new relationship, new relationships, regret, regrets, life choice, life choices, mistake, mistakes, marital fight, marital fights, domestic, domestics, domestic argument, domestic arguments, spousal dispute, spousal disputes, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships
"My mistake, really. I thought your ad said you were into cross-training."
Tags:cafe, cafes, dating, dates, dated, gender issues, gender stereotype, misread, misreading, mistake, mistakes, cross-training, cross training, training, gym, gyms, gym rat, gym rats, exercise, exercises, fitness, internet, internet dating, drag, ad, ads, personal, personals, finding love, love, lovelorn
Mistaken Identity Theft
"I'm feeling a little guilty for having introduced them to each other."
"I know I'm perjuring myself, but I'm trying to make a point!"
Tags:perjury, committing perjury, liar, liars, lying, courtroom, courtrooms, court of law, legal system, the legal system, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, priorities, argument, arguments, making a point, winning arguments, mistake, mistakes, big mistakes, fake news, making it up
"I told you never to call me here."
"The past, Your Honor, is a foreign country, and we did things differently there."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, courthouse, courthouses, law, laws, law and order, lawyer, lawyers, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, judge, judges, the past, excuse, excuses, criminal, criminals, crimes, trial, on trial, history, past mistakes, mistake, mistakes, regret, regrets, remorse
'Anyway, to make a long story short, the medical examiner who performed your autopsy was fired.'
"Now that I think about it, he might have been holding a seven."
Tags:line up, line ups, line-up, line-ups, police line up, police line ups, idiot, idiots, incompetent, incompetence, bad memory, poor memories, forgetfulness, confused, confusion, mistake, mistakes, big mistake, big mistakes, police, cop, cops, wasting police time, detective, detectives, police investigation, police investigations
'He's right. We screwed up.'
"Let me know if you read anything in there about hair."
Tags:barber, barbers, hairdresser, hairdressers, hairstylist, hairstylists, hairdo, hairdos, hairstyle, hairstyles, incompetent, incompetence, mistake, mistakes, unprofessional, professionalism, magazine, magazines, advice, need advice, need help, professional, professional, haircut, haircuts, bad haircut, bad haircuts
"He says he's a great salmon guide."
Road that goes off a cliff with a sign stating "We regret the error".
Tags:sign, signs, road signs, road signs, signage, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, road, roads, dead end, dead ends, dead-end, dead-end, cliff, cliffs, fall, falls, falling, accident, accidents, car accident, car accidents, error, errors, mistake, mistakes, dangerous, risky, regret, regrets, correction, corrections, too late, apology, apologies, apologizing, apologising, transportation
"What a couple of clucks we are. Here's another mistake right up here."
Tags:jail, jails, prison, prisons, incarceration, behind bars, imprisoned, imprisonment, penitentiary, penitentiaries, correctional facility, correctional facilities, prisoner, prisoners, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, criminal, criminals, punishments, jail cell, jail cells, prison cell, prison cells, cell, cells, cellmate, cellmates, celly, cellie, cellies, tally, tallies, tally mark, tally marks, counting, counting the days, mistake, mistakes, error, errors, dumb, stupid
"I knew he was lost the moment we left the water."
My Guess is, it belongs to a politician.
'What the... there's the gold earring I lost when we did his triple bypass four years ago.'