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"Mate with you? I was just going to use you as a Q-tip."
Tags:clean your ears, cleaning your ears, q-tip, q-tips, monster, monster, monster movie, monster movies, monster film, monster films, giant, giants, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstood, mate, mates, misinterpret, misinterpretation, misinterpretations, get the wrong idea, gets the wrong idea, getting the wrong idea
Tonight's English as a second language class has been cancelled,
Tags:english, england, language, languages, understand, understands, understanding, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, confuse, confuses, confused, confusion, wait, waits, waiting, student, students, foreign, second, cancel, cancelled, cancellation, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'
Tags:prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, jail, jails, con, cons, convict, convicts, break out, breaks out, breaking out, broken out, spot, spots, spotty, spotted, acne, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, misunderstood, escape, escapes, escaping, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'No. I said, 'Inhale deeply, and hold your breath.''
"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."
Tags:good cop, bad cop, good cops, bad cops, good cop bad cop, cop, cops, police, police officer, police officers, detective, detectives, interview, interviews, interviewed, interviewing, incompetent, incompetents, mistake, mistakes, criminal, criminal, crimes, interrogation, interrogate, interrogates, investigate, investigation, misunderstanding, misunderstood, misunderstands
'I feel awful. Coach was clutching his throat and turning blue, but I thought it was the 'bunt' sign.'
Tags:baseball, base ball, baseballs, base balls, ball, player, players, sign, signs, misread, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, coach, coaches, coached, coaching, signal, signals, signalled, signalling, bunt, bunts, bunting, bunted, medic, medics, athletic trainer, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"To return to the original menu say say 'Goddam son of a bitch!'"
Tags:menu, menus, phone call, phone calls, automated, automation, automated, phone menu, phone menus, robot, robot call, robot caller, robot calling, frustrating, frustration, frustrations, understand, understands, understanding, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, support line, support lines, help line, help lines, tech support, infuriating, infuriate, infuriates, stress, stresses, stressor, stressors, modern life, modern times, help, call for help, calling for help
"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."
Tags:sarcastic, sarcasm, sarcasticness, text, texts, text message, text messages, misread, misreads, misreading, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, tone, tones, date, dates, dating, single, single life, single lives, misinterpret, misinterpreting, misinterpretation, hard to read, difficult to read, prickly, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, modern life, online dating, online date, online dates, internet dating, internet dating site, internet dating sites, ambiguous, ambiguity
"Damnit, Harwood, I'm not doing an impression of anyone, I'm firing you."
'I know I said you are using the wrong mortar, but!...'
'Sorry. No trade-ins.'
"I'd like to grow my own budgies."
Tags:budgie, budgies, budgie seed, parakeet, parakeets, birdseed, bird seed, bird feed, pet store, pet stores, pet shop, pet shops, pet supplies, bird food, grow, grows, growing, seed, seeds, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, pet owner, pet owners, bird owner, bird owners
"You mean that's the Billof Rights? The American Bill of Rights?"
Tags:bill of rights, constitution, disappoint, disappoints, disappointing, disappointments, america, american, american history, foudning fathers, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, lawyer, lawyers, defense attorney, defense attorneys, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, legal document, legal documents, founding document, founding documents
"My father tried to help me tell time, Mrs. Davis, but I couldn't tell which of my hands was bigger to show the hour!"
Tags:tell time, tells time, telling time, big hand, little hand, hour hand, minute hand, clock, clocks, learn, learns, learning, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, teacher, teachers, schoolteacher, schoolteachers, primary school, primary schools, kindergarten, kindergarten teacher, kindergarten teachers
"Boy, I can hardly wait to take my shoes off...my dogs are really tired."
Tags:idiom, idioms, saying, sayings, expression, expressions, dog, dogs, dogs are tired, feet are tired, literal, literal interpretation, literal interpretations, confusing, confusion, child's understanding, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, misinterpret, misinterprets, misinterpretation, misinterpretations
"Yes, that is a pretty penny...but when I said that what the necklace would cost, I meant..."
Tags:literal, literally, figurative, expression, expressions, pretty penny, pretty pennies, idiom, idioms, take literally, taken literally, necklace, jewellery, jewelry, expensive, high cost, high costs, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, miscommunication, miscommunications, miscommunicate, jewelry store, jewellery store, jewelry stores, jewellery stores
"You haven't eaten for three days? I certainly admire your will power!"
"Will you pull your stupid pants up? This is a RETINAL scanner you idiot."
Tags:retinal scan, retinal scans, rectal scan, rectal scans, proctologist, proctology, proctologists, eye doctor, eye doctors, ophthalmology, ophthalmologist, ophthalmologists, optometry, optometrist, optometrists, drop your pants, dropping your pants, drop your trousers, dropping your trousers, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, mishear, mishears, misheard
'Mom can't talk now - she's hitting the bottle.'
"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."
"No insults? No put-downs? No verbal abuse? Come on, guys. What kind of roast is this, anyhow?"
Tags:turkey, turkeys, bird, birds, thanksgiving, thanksgiving dinner, thanksgiving dinners, roast, roasts, roasting, comedy roast, comedy roasts, comedy roasting, misunderstanding, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstandings, holiday, holidays, holiday season, holiday seasons, thanksgiving turkey, dinner, dinners, meal, meals, feast, feasts, thanksgiving, celebration, celebrations, insult, insults, put-down, put-downs, putdown, putdowns
Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.
'This is a gatored community... not a gated community!'
"I thought 'friends with benefits' meant being able to borrow each other's cars."
"How many times do I tell you, you CANNOT unfreeze your screen with your hairdryer!"
Tags:hairdryer, hairdryers, frozen screen, frozen screens, computer screen, computer screens, unfreeze, unfreezes, unfreezing, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, synonym, synonyms, computer crash, computer crashes, computer malfunction, computer malfunctions, malfunction, malfunctioning, it, it support, tech support, support line support lines, help line, helpline, helplines, help lines