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'According to the hospitals new electronic patients records system he's pregnant.'
"Could you not call me Ray this time?"
'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'
"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."
'Sorry, you've got to go back. I've got you penciled in for eight more months of suffering.'
'I would've been a more effective teacher today if I'd gotten here with my lesson plan instead of my grocery list.'
"I'm a bird dog."
Tags:dog, dogs, bird, birds, pet, pets, pet dog, pet dogs, birdhouse, birdhouses, bird house, bird houses, confused, confusion, pretend, pretending, role confusion, mix-up, mix up, mixed up, mix ups, mix-ups, swapping roles, make believe, play, playing, child, kid, kids, childhood, gun dog, gun dogs, hunting, hunter, hunters, hunting dog, hunting dogs, determination, determined
'I ordered an 'iron condor' not an 'iron duck'!'
'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'
'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'
"Yeah, well your profile wasn't exactly honest either."
Tags:online dating, internet dating, dating site, dating sites, whale, whales, desert island, desert islands, castaway, castaways, marooned, mistake, mistakes, mix up, mix ups, ix-up, mix-ups, disappointment, disappointments, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, date, dates, bad date, bad dates, first date, first dates, awkward date, awkward dates
"Wow, I've never met an astronomer before."
Tags:tortoise, tortoises, upsidedown, upside down, upside-down, tortoise shell, tortoise shells, astronomer, astronomers, astronomy, hero worship, mix up, mix ups, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, falling over, fallen over, accident, accidents, happy accident, happy accidents, turtle, turtles, physicist, physicists, physics, scientist, scientists
Suddenly Maude realised she was wearing the wrong panty liner.
"Due to a mixup in the paperwork you've been sent to doggie heaven."
Tags:pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died, dog, dogs, puppy, puppies, pet dog, pet dogs, dog lover, dog lovers, pet, pets, dog owner, dog owners, mans best friend, man's best friend, dog heaven, doggie heaven, doggy heaven, mix up, mix ups, mix-up, mix-ups, paperwork
"You've got the wrong address, Mac."
"Sorry, I thought you said sock exchange, not Stock exchange."
'Uh oh. I measured the drywall in feet, but you measured it in metric.'
Jeff's new computer came with the wrong kind of ram.
"I thought I'd ordered a toaster!"
'Oops. I set my auto pilot to go to Saratoga ... New York.'
Cat watching plug sockets.
Tags:cat and mouse, mouse hole, mouse holes, wall socket, wall sockets, cat, cats, socket, sockets, plug, plugs, electrocuted, electrocution, electrocutions, electric shock, electric shocks, static electricity, confused, confusion, mistake, mistakes, mix up, mix ups, mix-up, mix-ups, cliche, cliches
Wrecking ball operator wrecks his own office building by mistake.
'Hi Honey! I wanted to thank you for taking the baby to day care this morning!'