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King Henry VII
"I'm sorry, Richard, but you've failed to provide me with a male heir."
Tags:heir, heirs, male heir, male heirs, king, kings, gay marriages, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, monarchies, royal, royals, royalty, royal family, legitimacy, lineage, lineages, royal line, royal lineages, fatherhood, family tree, divorce, divorces, sovereign, sovereigns, marital breakdown, marriage breakdown, marriage breakdowns, marital breakdowns, crown prince, royal marriage, royal marriages
"It's not enough that I succeed. My friends must also be drawn and quartered."
Tags:king, kings, vengeance, revenge, enemy, enemies, frenemy, frenemies, jealous, jealousness, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, monarchies, throne, thrones, drawing and quartering, tortures, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, competitive, competitive spirit, competitive spirits, competitor, competitors, competition, competitions, royal, royals, royalty, jealous, jealousy, self-interest, self-interested, dog eat dog
"Sorry, Dad, but it's time to consider a retirement kingdom."
Tags:retire, retires, retirement home, retirement homes, old folks home, old folks homes, convalescent home, convalescent homes, senior, senior citizen, senior citizens, old people's home, old peoples home, king, kings, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, monarchies, retire, retires, retiring, retirement, kingdom, kingdoms, dementia
"Of course, it helped that my father was also a king."
Tags:royal, royals, hereditary, inherit, inherits, achievement, achievements, crown, crowns, help, helped, helping, parent, parents, monarch, monarchs, proud, pride, class, classes, upper-class, kingdom, kingdoms, royalty, monarchy, monarchies, history, comparison, comparing, compared, modern, social mobility, social-mobility
"My father-who the hell do you think named me Edward the Lesser?"
Tags:lesser, denigrate, denigrates, denigrating, nickname, nicknames, nick-name, nick-names, father, fathers, parent, parents, expectation, expectations, high expectations, smother, smothers, smothering, name, names, king, kings, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, monarchies, parental figure, therapist, therapists, therapy, complex, complexes, psychological complex, psychological complexes
"Don't believe them when they say they want topical material."
Tags:censor, censors, censorship, censoring, jestor, jestors, jester, jesters, court, royal court, royal courts, king, kings, monarch, monarchs, queen, queens, monarchy, monarchies, royal, royals, royalty, joke, jokes, topical material, arrest, arrests, execution, executions, executioner, executioners, free speech, oppression, oppressed, tyranny, tyrannies, tyrant, tyrants
"The Duke of Wolfordshire vs. The King of Beers"
Tags:throne, thrones, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, monarchies, royal, royals, king, kings, duke, wolfordshire, royalty, drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards, drink problem, drink problems, drinking problem, drinking problems, beer, beers, overindulge, overindulged, overindulging, drinking competition, drinking competitions, drink competition, beer consumption
"So, order in or go out?"
"If you've got it, you've got it."
"Bottom line? You're still king of about two-thirds of all you survey."
"On your head, sire."
Tags:crown, crowns, blooper, bloopers, dresser, dressers, king, kings, kingship, royal robe, royal robes, throne, thrones, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, monarchies, royalty, royal, royals, royal family, servant, servants, valet, valets, belt, belts, royal insignia, belt, belts, mistake, mistakes, fashion disaster, fashion mistake, fashion disasters
"This is Edward the Great. I don't know any Edward the Weenie."
"Is this your wife?"
"You've got a power beheading at 8 A.M."
"It's as big a turnout as we could manage, Sire. There's so much cynicism these days."
Tags:king, kings, monarch, monarchies, monarchs, court, courts, crowd, crowds, empty, disappointed, disappointing, turnout, turn out, royal, royals, patriotism, patriot, gather, gathering, gathered, cynical, cynicism, reluctant, reluctance, reluctantly, speech, speeches, announcement, address, poor turnout, showing, announces, these days, modern life, combine, apathy
"You were beginning to take that divine right stuff seriously weren't you?"
A king watches a man walk a dog.
"God made me king and everybody's jealous."
"Sire, have you been drunk-twittering again?"
"No, I wasn't abused, but I cut off my father's head anyway."
Tags:king, kings, dad, dads, father, fathers, abuse, abuser, abusers, abusive, parent, parents, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, monarchies, throne, thrones, usurp, usurps, usurping, overthrow, overthrows, overthrowing, prince, princes, son, sons, revenge, vengeance, murder, murders, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, regicide