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"Mum, I can't sleep - there's a human under the bed..."
"Kid, I'm beggin' you, please stop farting."
"Look, mom! I cleaned my room AND solved the monster-under-the-bed problem!"
"In former times the kids were scared to death when I came out of their closet...nowadays when I see the stuff kids are playing on their computers I'm the one who is scared to death!"
"Keep your shirt on. I'll read your book as soon as I'm done reading the monster his book."
"Don't worry. I'm under your brother's bed so I can scare him."