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"I'd have been better off getting out of bed and leaving the house."
Tags:morning, mornings, monday, mondays, lie in, lie ins, sleeping in, staying in, lazy day, lazy days, pyjama day, pyjama days, pajama day, pajama days, mental health, mental health issue, mental health issues, mental health disorder, mental health disorders, depressed, depression, depressive, depressives
"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."
Tags:leaving for work, going to work, getting dressed, getting ready, morning, mornings, fashion, style, suit, suits, clothes, clothing, woman, women, career woman, career women, businesswoman, businesswomen, female empowerment, working woman, working women, househusband, househusbands, job, jobs, work, working, career, careers, business, breadwinner, breadwinners, modern life, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, husband, husbands, wife, wives, couple, couples, spouse, spouses, problem, problems, businessman, businessmen
"He's running late this morning. He unexpectedly snapped out of denial."
Tags:denial, in denial, late for work, morning, mornings, monday, mondays, monday morning, monday mornings, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, middle age, middle aged, getting old, getting older, ageing, crisis, existential crisis, running late, excuse, excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, sick day, sick days, sick leave, sickie, sickies, the inevitability of death
"You weren't actually in the dream, but you did do the voice-over."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, breakfast, morning, mornings, dream, dreams, dreaming, dreamed, dreamt, voice-over, voice-overs, voiceover, voiceovers, narrator, narrators, narration, film, films, movie, movies, entertainment, offended, angry, glaring, upset
"Damn it, Edmondson, must we go through this every morning?"
Deus ex Caffeina
Tags:coffee, coffees, caffeine, caffeine hit, coffee addict, coffee addicts, coffee addiction, coffee addictions, morning, mornings, monday, mondays, deus ex machina, greek, greeks, ancient greeks, tragedy, tragedies, greek god, greek gods, plot device, plot devices, solution, solutions, hopeless, hopelessness, hopeless situation, hopeless situations
"Sorry, I'm late, chief—I had a little trouble working out my grooming strategy this morning."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, late, coming in late, late for work, grooming, getting ready, getting dressed, morning, mornings, strategy, strategies, problem, problems, personal appearance, man, men, style, beauty, vain, vanity
"Read your paper, dear. The news is getting cold."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, breakfast, morning, mornings, eating, meal, meals, mealtime, mealtimes, news, newspaper, newspapers, media, journalism, press, read, cold, hot off the press, current events
"We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, restaurant, restaurants, cafe, cafes, kitchen, kitchens, customer service, service, mornings, breakfast, coffee, waitress, waitresses, waiter, waiters, server, servers
"Go back to sleep? Sleep at the office?"
"You can see him now. His meds just kicked in."
Tags:medication, meds, medications, prescription medication, prescription meds, under pressure, high pressure job, high pressure jobs, high flyer, high flyers, modern life, modern attitudes, pick me up, pick-me-up, upper, uppers, morning, mornings, monday, mondays, coping strategy, coping strategies, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, business manager, business managers
A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.
Tags:dog, dogs, bed, beds, sleep, sleeps, sleeping, opportunist, opportunists, opportunity, opportunities, dog owner, dog owners, pet, pets, on the bed, made bed, made beds, make the bed, making the bed, morning, mornings, morning routine, morning routines, morning ritual, morning rituals, nap, naps, napping, scuff, scuffs, scuffed, lock, locked, prank, pranks, pranking
"You think I just roll our of bed majestic?"
Tags:bald eagle, bald eagles, eagle, eagles, bird of prey, birds of prey, bird watcher, bird watchers, bird watching, nature, nature lovers, nature lover, morning routine, morning routines, beauty routine, beauty routines, morning, mornings, roll out of bed, beautify, majestic, majestic bird, majestic nature
"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."
Tags:music, musical, musician, musicians, morning, mornings, rude awakening, awakening, wake, woken, woken up, birdsong, bird, birds, songbird, songbirds, talent, talents, musical talent, gift, gifted, gifts, musically gifted, complex, bar, bars, repeating, symphonic, symphonies, symphony, harmonies, harmony, harmonics, chord, chords, annoying, annoyed, annoyance, pleasantly surprised, visual gag
"He's laid up with a bad case of inertia."
Tags:coffee, coffees, caffeine, caffeinated, sugar, sugar rush, morning, mornings, morning routines, morning routine, pick me up, wake up, waking up, coffee addict, coffee addicts, coffee, addicts, caffeine addict, caffeine addiction, caffeine addicts, hot drink, hot drinks, coffee machine, percolator, percolators, smile, smiley face, sad face, emoji, emojis, coffee cup, coffee cups, coffee mug, coffee mugs, rise and shine
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, rooster, roosters, chicken, chickens, wakeup call, wakeup calls, wake-up call, wake-up calls, crowing, cock-a-doodle-doo, morning, mornings, wake-up, wakeup, alarm clock, alarm clocks, alarm, alarms, performer, performers, performance, performances, performing, counting
"It's amazing the things you see if you wake up an hour earlier than usual!"
"Get with it, love! Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day stands tiptoe on the misty mountaintops."
Tags:morning, mornings, monday, mondays, wake up, waking up, coffee, coffees, caffeine, caffeinated, morning routine, morning routines, encourage, encouraging, encouragement, poem, poems, poetry, shakespeare, william shakespeare, quote, quotes, famous quotes, play, plays, theater, famous quote, romeo and juliet
"It's not fair that I have to get up and live the day I already had nightmares about."
Tags:nightmare, nightmares, night terror, night terrors, bad sleep, bad sleeps, morning, mornings, monday, mondays, bad dream, bad dreams, dread, overworked, overworking, exhausted, exhaustion, bad job, bad jobs, nine to five, 9 to 5, slave to the wage, anxiety, anxious, worry, worrier, worriers, premonition, premonitions
"The Toast Whisperer"
Tags:toast, toaster, toasters, toasted, food, foodie, foodies, food lover, food lovers, kitchen, kitchen appliances, appliance, appliances, tech, technological, breakfast, breakfast food, morning, mornings, jam, jams, jelly, jellies, grape, grapes, raspberry, preserve, preserves, blueberry, blueberries, apple, apples, butter, butters, fruit, fruits, word play, play on words, whisperer, whisperers
"I get it- the old caffeinated-cop, decaffeinated-cop routine."
"So this is what you do when I pretend to leave, then come back unexpectedly in five minutes."
Tags:suspicion, suspicious, suspect, suspected, cheating, cheat, infidelity, marriage, married, catch, catching, caught, catches, morning, mornings, marriage, married, married life, breakfast, couple, couples, cliche, cliches, cliched, reference, references, gender, stereotype, stereotypes, unexpected, unexpected return, return, returned, trust, trusting, trustworthy, depend, dependable, reliable, reliability, rely, rely on, faith, faithful, trusts, literal, literally
"Who's the wise guy who drank my caffè grand latte?"
Tags:morning, mornings, morning coffee, morning coffees, coffee, coffees, caffeine, latte, lattes, wise guy, wise guys, wiseguy, wiseguys, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, caffeine addiction, caffeine addict, caffeine addicts, caffeine fix, caffeine-fix, coffee addiction, coffee addict, coffee addicts, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, hiding, angry wife, angry wives, angry women, angry woman, pre-coffee, before coffee