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"Using our house as a makeshift morgue is going to make it harder to sell."
Tags:death, dead, dead body, dead bodies, corpse, corpses, morgue, morgues, mortuary, mortuaries, mortician, morticians, embalmer, embalmers, make-shift, makeshift, selling, sell, seller, sellers, selling the house, property value, property values, real estate, real estate agency, real restate agencies, real estate agent, real estate agents, property agency, property agencies, property agent, property agents, value, values, money, house, houses, home, homes, problem, problems, issue, issues
Monuments 'n' Stuff
Tags:storefront, storefronts, name, names, monument, monuments, grave, graves, headstone, headstones, cemetery, cemeteries, disrespect, disrespects, disrespecting, undertaker, undertakers, mortuary, mortuaries, dark humor, black humor, dark humour, black humour, tombstone, tombstones, respect for the dead, show respect, shows respect, showing respect, consumer, consumer culture, consumerism, death, die, dies, dying, retailer, retailers, window shop, window shops, window shopping, modern life, modern times
"Someone's misfiled Harrington."
Tags:filing, filed, files, filing cabinet, filing system, misfile, misfiled, offices, office politics, dead, deceased, died, body, bodies, corpse, morgue, morgues, mortuary, mortuaries, post mortem, mob, mobs, mobster, mobsters, mafia, mafioso, mafiosos, big boss, administrative, admin, administration, administrative work
A hearse with a vulture hood ornament.
Tags:transportation, vehicle, vehicles, hearse, hearses, funeral coach, funeral coaches, hood ornament, hood ornaments, bonnet ornament, bonnet ornaments, radiator cap, radiator caps, vulture, vultures, funeral director, funeral directors, funeral home, funeral homes, mortuary, mortuaries, funeral parlor, funeral parlors, funeral parlour, funeral parlours, undertaker, undertakers, mortician, morticians, dead, death
"Oops, Sorry – this is the sock & underwear drawer."
'Not everyone is cut out for this business but it's a living.'
He's still in denial.
Funeral Home: Gone to a better place ? Back in one hour.
"I'm afraid as a marketing strategy 'Two for One' doesn't work in the funeral business!"
Tags:management consultant, management consultants, funeral, funerals, offer, offers, tasteless, tastelessness, poor taste, funeral director, funeral directors, mortuary, mortuaries, coupon, coupons, two-for-one, 2-for-1, marketing, marketing, markets, funeral director, funeral directors, marketing genius, marketing geniuses
"We never say 'death'—we prefer 'deadness.' "
'Why, no, I don't have any nail clippers on me. Just do like I do, and use your teeth.'
Cause of death: Just one of those things.
'Do you know where you're going when your life is over, my son?' 'Sure. Joe's Funeral Home.'
"Miss Gorce is in the embalming game."
"You measured him! Does it shut?"
"Oh, I do love a mystery."
Tags:morgue, morgues, mortician, morticians, murder, murders, murderer, missing the obvious, miss the obvious, blind, blindness, mystery, mysterious, mysteries, stab, stabbed, stabbing, stabbings, murder victim, murder victims, knife, knifed, knife crime, knife crimes, crimes, doctor, doctors, md, mds, m.d., knife in back, knifed in back, medical mystery, medical mysteries, mortuary, mortuaries, hopsital, hospitals, right under your nose, oblivious
'It appears he was popped.'
'...Or, if you're on a budget, there's always the La Brea tar pits.'
Large box of baking soda in the morgue.
"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."
Tags:mortuary, mortuaries, death, die, dying, stomach content, stomach contents, analysis, pathology, forensic, forensics, post mortem, post-mortem, morgue, doctor, doctors, health, detective, detectives, mortician, biology, pathologist, path, truth, final, analysis, diagnosis, coroner, coroners, medical examiner, medical examiners
Man trying to break out of a coffin.
"Some trainees find the post-mortem an eviscerating experience but you'll get used to it."
World's Most Useless Sale
Tags:coffin, coffins, sale, sales, undertaker, undertakers, mortuary, mortuaries, morgue, morgues, funeral parlour, funeral parlours, funeral parlor, funeral parlors, funeral, funerals, casket, caskets, sale, sales, offer, offers, bogo, bogof, buy one get one, buy one get one free, aging, ageing, dying, old age, senior citizen, senior citizens, elderly, elder, elders, senior, seniors