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'The test results are in. The tightness in your chest and numbness in your extremities are caused by the biking outfit you're wearing.'
"Please--if my wife still loved me, would she have let me buy this motorcycle?"
Tags:motorcycle, motorcycles, motor bike, motor bikes, motorcyclist, motorcyclists, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, middle aged, middle age, middle-aged, middle-age, mid life crisis, cheater, cheaters, affair, affairs, infidelity, infidelities, unfaithfulness, philandering, philanderer, philanderers, relationship problems, relationship difficulty, relationship difficulties, may-december romance, may december romance, may-december, trophy girlfriend, trophy girlfriends, aging, aged, retired, retire
"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."
Tags:midlife crisis, midlife crises, mid-life crisis, mid-life crises, middle age, middle aged, anniversary, anniversaries, ten year anniversary, ten year anniversaries, bike, bikes, motorbike, motorbikes, motorcycle, motorcycles, biker, bikers, biking, age, ages, ageing, aging, mourn, mourns, mourning, grow old, grows old, growing old, lost youth
"I thought it would be cool to have one, but now I just use it for storage."
Tags:cave, caveman, prehistory, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo sapien, homo sapiens, homo erectus, early man, early men, stone age, stone-age, stone ages, stone-ages, dark age, dark-age, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, car, cars, bike, bikes, motorbike, motorbikes, bicycle, bicycles, motorcycle, motorcycles, dinosaur, dinosaurs, triceratops, garage
"Fix it so it'll stream out behind, Pierre. I've been assigned to a motorcycle detail."
"Has anyone mentioned to you that I ride a Harley to work?"
Tags:office, offices, office life, business, businessman, businessmen, businesswoman, businesswomen, secretary, secretaries, receptionist, receptionists, man, men, manager, managers, boss, bosses, executive, executive, pick-up line, pickup line, pickup lines, pick up line, pick up lines, bragging, brag, boast, boasting, manly, show-off, showing off, motorcycle, motorcycles, motorbike, motorbikes, inappropriate behavior, inappropriate behaviour
'My wife bought me this helmet when I told her I was buying a bike. She's a little over protective.'
'We're both vicitms of the economy. You're getting laid off, and I can't buy another Harley.'
'I got twenty dollars for your motorbike, is that good?'
'He loves riding his bike to work, but he hates the traffic. Apparently, he solved that problem.'
'Next time try not to venture off the road. The brush gets a little thick in there.'
'Bugs ain't nothin', kid - just wait till you swallow a BUZZARD!'
Biker: Born to Be Mild
My broom's in the shop.
'You were going too slow...then you were going too fast. You hit every pothole and you're making the turns too wide. And another thing...'
'My new security system vaporizes anyone who gets too close to my bike. I'm going to miss Jim.'
'How sweet, he's smiling. He must be dreaming about me.' (Man is dreaming about a motorbike).
Chauffeur Driven Side Car.
'May I help you?'
'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'
'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'
'Soiling your pants every time you ride your bike fast isn't a medical condition. It's probably a mixture of fear and excitement.'
'Yes, this bike complies with the town's new noise pollution laws, but we've programmed this MP3 player with brrroom brrroom sounds, so you can still feel macho while riding it.'
'What do you mean you were having so much fun riding with your buddies you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home over a year ago!'