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'OK, Mrs. Dunn. We'll slide you in there, scan your brain, and see if we can find out why you've been having these spells of claustrophobia.'
'...by doubling up on patients in the MRI, we're able to cut costs in half...'
"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."
'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'
'I'm pretty sure he's been s-q-u-a-s-h-e-d...'
Tags:insect, insects, radiology, radiologist, radiologists, spelling, spell, spells, bug, bugs, flea, fleas, x-ray, x-rays, mri, mri scan, mri scans, doctor, doctors, diagnosis, diagnoses, medical opinion, medical opinions, basketball injury, basketball injuries, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'
'Conventional medicine says take an aspirin. In the absence of tort reform, defensive medicine says MRI and Cat Scan.'
'I'd better run some tests... It could be cancer.'
"The results of your MRI show that you're very claustrophobic.''
'Here, take this pencil. We taped some sudokus to the ceiling in there to help you pass the time.'
'I'm afraid it's stupidity. And it appears to be spreading.'
"The machine's done something really weird to Mr. Hendrickson."
The M.R.I. of Love
'My insurance won't pay for an MRI!'
Tunnel of Anxiety
"I want you to lie as still as possible while Lyle and I take our lunch break."
'My Insurance won't pay for an MRI.'
"Okay Mrs. Gunderson. I want you to lie as still as possible while Lyle and I take our lunch break and run a few errands."
Tags:mri, m.r.i., magnetic resonance imaging, mri machine, m.r.i. machine, examination, examinations, doctor, doctors, researcher, researchers, lie, lying, lies, malpractice, medical malpractice, lunch, lunchtime, lunch break, take a break, taking a break, errand, errands, running errands, bedside manner, patient care, patient, patients, injured, injury, hospital, hospitals, hospital appointment, health, healthy, health care, diagnose, diagnosing, diagnosis, unprofessional, unprofessionalism, lazy, inconsiderate, phobia, phobias, claustrophobia, claustrophobic
'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'
'Let's order one more MRI, just to play it safe.'
'And this one is for going into an MRI machine -- alone.'
Thin man enters 'Closed and Narrow MRI', heavy man enters 'Open and Wide MRI'
"Forty minutes at three hundred and fifty degrees should do it, Miriam, but don't neglect to baste continuously."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, mri, m.r.i., magnetic resonance imaging, cook, cooks, cooking, chef, chefs, baste, basting, poultry, chicken, turkey, meat, temperature, cooking temperature, temperatures, cooking temperatures, technology, medical technology
'You can go home now. Your tests show the virus was in the MRI machine!'
Tags:cat scan, catscan, cat scans, mri, mri machine, mri machines, tech, technological, magic, magical, magicians, magician, visual, visual gag, visual joke, hospital, hospitals, scan, scans, doctor, doctors, specialist, specialists, miracle, medical miracle, patient, patients, magic trick, magic tricks, classic magic, classic magic trick, get well, get well soon, illness, illnesses, faith, hav faith