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'What do you mean you had a little fender-bender this afternoon with the sleigh?!'
Tags:crash, crashed, crashes, crashing, car crash, car crashes, fender bender, fender-bender, sleigh, sleighs, reindeer, reindeers, confession, confess, confessed, confessing, santa claus, santa, mrs claus, christmas, christmases, accident, accidents, collision, collisions, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"The freezer's almost empty, so be sure to bring back more bad boys and girls than you did last year!"
Tags:santa, santa claus, mr claus, father christmas, christmas, st. nicholas, st nicholas, saint nicholas, st. nick, st nick, saint nick, holiday, holidays, mrs claus, mrs. claus, naughty list, murder, murderer, murderers, kill, killed, killer, killers, bad kid, bad kids, bad child, bad children, nightmare, nightmares, freeze, freezer
'As usual...you get the glory and I get the dirty job.'
Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.
“Stop avoiding me. I know when you are sleeping. I know when you are awake.”
Tags:santa, santa claus, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship difficulty, relationship difficulties, spouse, spouses, wife, wives, husband, husbands, partners, partner, significant other, significant others, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriend, girlfriends, dating, date, dates, dating troubles, dating life, love life, love-life, sexual relationship, bed, bedroom, bedrooms, mrs claus, christmas carol, christmas carols
"Oh shoot, we still need to get Hanukkah gifts for the Rosenbaums."
Tags:santa, santa claus, kris kringle, father christmas, saint nick, st nicholas, saint nicholas, st nick, pelznickel, mr claus, mrs claus, hannukkah, gift, gifts, present, presents, friend, friends, jewish, christian, christians, judaism, christianity, realistic, realism, gifting, second temple, home, marriage, home life, shpasik, jtoons
'Don't forget your thermos.'
In the lead up to Christmas, Santa was given his wife's shopping list...which he knew she would check twice!!
Tags:shopping list, shopping lists, shopper, shoppers, shop, shops, christmas shopping, christmas shopper, christmas shoppers, xmas shopping, xmas shopper, xmas shoppers, xmas, grocery, groceries, supermarket, supermarkets, christmas, santa, santa claus, mrs claus, shopping trolley, supermarket shop, supermarket shops, shopping, checking twice, shopper, shopping list, shopping lists
Mrs. Claus finds a job for Santa's reindeer in the off season.
"According to the DNA sample sent to 23andMe, you're 51% Scandinavian, 35% German, 14% British, and the father of 1,253 'Little Helpers'."
Tags:dna sample, dna samples, dna test, dna tests, dna testing, little helper, little helpers, elf, elves, santa claus, father christmas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nicholas, st nicholas, st nick, st. nick, festive period, parenthood, affair, affairs, north pole, mrs claus, mrs. claus, santa, adulterer, adulterers
Mrs. Claus's Annual Joke: 'Whoa...you're not going to work dressed like that, are you?'
It was indeed an awkward moment, but Mrs Claus had nailed them all...finally, the truth was out!!
"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."
Santa Claus Christmas Texting
"So what if you've been all around the world. Go back and pick up that quart of milk you forgot."
"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."
Tags:feminism, feminist, feminists, santa, saint nick, saint nicholas, st nick, st. nick, st nicholas, st. nicholas, festive period, mrs santa claus, mrs claus, sexism, sexist, sexists, husband, husbands, wife, wives, santa claus, mrs. claus, mrs. santa claus, christmas, gender issue, gender issues, gender role, gender roles
"Behind every great man is an equally great woman starved for affection."
Tags:santa claus, neglect, mrs santa claus, mrs claus, father christmas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st nicholas, st nick, wife, wives, husband, husbands, behind every great man, neglect, negligence, work-life balance, life-work balance, workaholic, workaholics, great man, great men, marital problems, marriage problems
"You spoil those kids."
Tags:christmas, xmas, x-mas, holidays, christmas eve, santa, santa claus, mrs claus, father christmas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, delivery, deliveries, toy, toys, spoil, spoils, spoiling, spoiled, spoilt, spare the rod, nag, nags, nagging, argument, arguments, spouse, spouses, childrearing, child-rearing, child rearing, disciplinarian, disciplinarians
'Don't rush me. I can't be everywhere at once.'
'After thousands of miles and millions of homes, I finally get to rela...'
Tags:santa, santa claus, christmas, christmases, christmasy, delivery, deliver, delivered, forgot, forgotten, forget, forgets, relax, relaxing, relaxed, forgot one, work, working, worked, works, tired, tiring, shattered, knackered, mrs claus, sleigh, sleighs, december 25th, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Have a Happy Christmas and a great New Year."
"And where have you been all night?"
"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."
Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.
Tags:santa claus, mrs claus, father christmas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, st nick, st nicholas, festive period, chimney, soot, chimneys, carpet beater, carpet beaters, costume, costumes, christmas, christmases, christmas eve, laundry day, laundry days, laundry chore, laundry chores
'Maybe I should talk with Mrs. Claus. She's GOT to have better taste in clothes than you!'
Tags:santa claus, father christmas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st nick, st nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, mrs claus, mrs christmas, fashion sense, fashion statement, fashion statements, fashions, fashionable, christmas, christmases, xmas, xmases, gift, gifts, present, presents, taste, kid, kids, wish list, christmas list