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'Is it really necessary for you to give her vocal cords?'
What wives say...what husbands hear...
"Yoo-hoo! My husband gets the senior-citizen discount! Yoo-hoo, Officer, yoo-hoo!"
Tags:senior, seniors, senior citizen, pensioner, pensioners, growing old, growing older, senior discount, senior discounts, age, aging, aged, over the hill, wife, wives, overbearing wife, overbearing wives, nagging wife, nagging wives, husbands, husband, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, traffic cop, traffic cops, pull over, pulled over, traffic stop, traffic stops, ticket, tickets, ticketing, getting a ticket, traffic ticket, traffic tickets, driver, drivers, senior driver, senior drivers, older driver, older drivers, traffic fine, traffic fines, senior driver, senior drivers, fine, fines, discount, discounts
"Be careful. Alien life forms have infiltrated the populace."
Tags:alien, aliens, alien invasion, alien invasions, shapeshifter, shapeshifters, shapeshifting aliens, warning, warn, warns, be careful, take care, husband, husband, wife, wives, danger, dangers, daily dangers, workplace dangers, hazard, hazards, nagging wife, nagging wives, marriage, marriages, married couple
Child Support Hose
Tags:play on words, play on word, nagging spouse, nagging wife, nagging wives, ex-wife, ex-wives, divorce, divorced, divorces, divorcee, single parent, single parenthood, single parenting, hosiery, panty hose, undergarments, undergarment, stockings, stocking, ex-husband, sad, sad sack, neglectful, neglect, neglecting, child support, alimony, child maintenance
"It's for you."
Tags:meeting, meetings, board meeting, board meetings, boardroom, boardrooms, boardroom meeting, boardroom meetings, business meeting, interruption, interruptions, phone call, phone calls, window washer, window washers, window cleaner, window cleaning, window cleaners, window washing, personal call, personal calls, nagging wife, nagging wives, nagging spouse, nagging spouses, hard to find, found, found out
"Gold is finally making a move and you sit here doing nothing."
Tags:gold, gold trading, gold market, gold markets, investment, investors, invest, investor, financial, financial market, financial markets, investment strategy, investment strategies, gold value, price of gold, infomercial, infomercials, late night tv, lazy, laziness, lethargic, lethargy, couch potato, couch potatoes, nagging wife, nagging wives, nag, nagging, nagging spouse, nagging spouses, lazy husband, lazy husbands, relationship, relationships, married life, married lives, unemployed, unemployment
"Start exercising, lose some weight, pay more attention to me and the kids, help out more around the house?"
"I said, 'Go East'; you went west...again! Why can't you listen? Don't be such a schlep! You big schmoe!"
"If that's my matching sock, I'm not here."
Tags:nag, nags, nagging, nagging wife, nagging wives, husband, husbands, wife, wives, marred life, married couple, marital problem, marital problems, marriage problem, marriage problems, marital breakdown, drinking hole, drinking holes, avoidance, avoiding, avoidance tactic, avoidance tactics, sock, socks, pair, pairs, matching pair, matching pairs, beer, beers
"Out getting smashed, AGAIN?!"
'Where do you think you're going?'
'We never go anywhere anymore.'
"Okay, snookums, I know I'm late. I can explain."
Tags:quarrel, quarrels, marriage, marital, married life, married couple, married couples, domestic, domestics, nagging wife, nagging wives, nag, nags, nagged, king, kings, queen, queens, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royals, castle, castles, quarreling, marital problem, marital problems, domestic violence, rolling pin, rolling pins
Wife gets rid of husband's distraction.
'I've told you...only wake me for one of the queen's tirades. Uprisings and coups can wait.'
"...You haven't even thought this through, have you?"
Tags:groundhogs, gopher, spa, wildlife, wild-life, groundhogs, gophers, hot tubs, spas, woodchuck, woodchucks, landbeaver, landbeavers, land-beaver, land-beavers, whirlpool, whirlpools, jacuzzi, jacuzzis, wife, wives, husband, husbands, nagging wife, nagging wives, married life, bachelor, bachelors, bachelor's lifestyles
"Remember, Mr. President. It's your anniversary today. Don't forget to pick up some flowers for the, first nag."
"...The wife is liable to crank up the invisible fence."
'Fred and Wilma live in a house.'
'Arthur! When are you going to start accepting the passage of time?'
'WAIT! Before you jump - you forgot to take out the trash!'
Wife to husband whose turned into a pile of seed: 'If you exercised more, this wouldn't have happened.'
'There you go again...constantly snagging!'
'She always gets her way. Everything is always, 'Yes, deer.''