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A day at the pen cap ER.
'How can I stop biting my nails?' - 'Always wear shoes.'
"Hey...have you noticed? You bite your fingernails."
"I can always tell when someone invests in commodities futures."
"Cracking my knuckles grossed people out, so I switched to bubblewrap."
"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"
"Granddad's been jingling coins in his pocket all night. I can't wait to check beneath his cushion."