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"As for immigration, I say admit anyone who arrives on the Concorde."
Tags:immigration, immigrant, immigrants, migrant, migrants, discriminate, discriminates, discriminating, discrimination, rich person, rich people, immigration law, immigration laws, legal immigration, new arrival, new arrivals, immigrant, immigrants, foreigner, foreigners, foreign land, foreign lands, politician, politicians, racism, racist, racists, immigration policy
"You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you . . ."
Tags:religion, religious, death, life after death, after death, hell, dead, soul, souls, sinner, sinners, devil, devils, lucifer, satan, demon, demons, entrance to hell, hell's entrance, club, clubs, nightclub, nightclubs, entrance, entrance, line, lines, lineup, lineups, queue, queues, lining up, lining, queuing, waiting, new arrival, new arrivals, you, bouncer, bouncers, doorman, doormen, security
"It's cool, but you kinda miss the trumpet fanfare, right?"Sign: "WELCOME JOSH!"
Tags:heaven, angel, angels, welcome, welcoming, st. peter's gate, entering heaven, entrance, entrances, enter heaven, dead, death, dying, fanfare, trumpet, trumpets, billboard, billboards, lights, name in lights, modern life, modernising, modernizing, modernisation, modernization, innovation, progress, technology, arrival, arrivals, new arrival, new arrivals
"Just in time. We need ballast."
"I remember you, you borrowed my lawn mower and never returned it."
"Oh, by the way, as you were on your way down here your lottery ticket won seventeen million dollars."
Tags:hell, welcome to hell, devil, devils, demon, demons, satan, fire, flame, flames, new arrival, death, dead, money, gambling, gambler, gamblers, lottery, lotteries, playing the lottery, lottery ticket, lottery tickets, game, games, won, winning the lottery, million, millions, million dollars, fortune, unlucky, lucky, fortunate, unfortunate, good luck, bad luck, bad day, worst day, rich, wealth, wealthy, riches, poor, man, men, psychology, failure, failed, stress, stressful, unfulfilled dreams, torture
"They look so young and helpless."
Tags:maternity, maternity ward, maternity wards, baby, babies, new arrival, new arrivals, newborn, newborns, new parents, new parent, parenthood, first-time parents, first-time parents, helpless, feeling, feelings, helplessness, young, youthful, impotent, impotence, pity, pities, sympathy, sympathetic, empathy, empathetic
"Murchison is still in denial."
'Well, I still say he looks nothing like me!'
What to Expect When You're Expecting
Tags:pregnant, pregnancy, pregnancies, guide, guides, guideline, guidelines, igor, frankenstein, doctor frankenstein, expecting, baby, babies, offspring, new parent, new parents, parenting, parenting book, parenting books, book, books, advice, parenting book, parenting books, anticipate, new arrival, new arrivals, mad scientist, mad scientists, science experiment, science experiments, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories
'I'm sorry, I don't know where YONDER is,'
"The pet shop owner told me it was just a harmless garter snake."
Tags:garter snake, garter snakes, serpent, serpents, snake, snakes, python, pythons, reptile, reptiles, heaven, afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, angel, angels, paradise, new arrival, cause of death, predator, predators, prey, preys, pet shop, pet shops, pet store, pet stores, exotic pet, exotic pets, dangerous animals
"The first thing newcomers seem to want to do is make a 'cloud angel'."
"You were supposed to leave your flash drive at the Pearly Gates."
Tags:pearly gates, heaven, new arrival, new arrivals, data stick, data sticks, flash drives, flash drive, memory stick, memory sticks, clouds, angel, angels, gates, smart phone, smartphone, smartphones, st peter, keys to the kingdom of heaven, st peter at the pearly gates, afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives
"You must be the new guy."
'What do you make of the new squirt?'
'I suppose this puts my new bike on the back burner?'
'You have done nothing to complain ever since you got here!'
Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.
'You will find that, although Hell as a concept may work for you, you have difficulty embracing the reality of it.'
'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supearvisor's uniform!'
"Oooh. He definitely has Dave the milkman's eyes."
'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know that he's ours?'
"It looks more like you."