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"The baby's nice, but it's not the narcissistic rush I thought it would be."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, baby, babies, new baby, new babies, new born, new borns, newborn, newborns, mother, mothers, motherhood, narcissism, narcissist, narcissists, self centred, self centered, self-centred, self centered, new parent, new parents, selfish, selfishness, disappointment, disappointments, disappointing, postpartum depression, postnatal depression
"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."
I had this wonderful dream that I slept... but then I woke up.
'Something tells me he's going to be a basketball player.'
"Which one is yours?"
'Congratulations, it's a ninja!'
"She's cute, but she's eroding my power base."
Tags:baby, babies, new baby, new babies, newborn, newborns, new born, new borns, sibling, siblings, new sibling, new siblings, arrival, arrivals, jealous, jealousy, parent, parents, parenting, sisters, brother, brothers, new sister, new brother, attention, lack of attention, cute, cuteness, irritation, irritate, irritates, irritation, irritations
Nursery: Winners and Losers
'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!
"So when do we go online?"
Tags:baby, babies, new baby, new babies, new born, new borns, newborn, newborns, internet, the internet, modern tech, modern technology, modern technologies, social media, social network, social networks, social networking, generation z, generation-z, hospital, hospitals, maternity ward, maternity wards, online, computer, computers, smartphone, smartphones, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes
A stork carries a baby in car seat.
"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"
The family dog feels neglected because of the attention given to the new baby.
Tags:dog, dogs, canine, pet, pets, neglect, neglects, neglected, jealous, jealousy, baby, babies, newborn, newborns, new born, new borns, new baby, new babies, infant, infants, infancy, attention, unimportant, unimportance, lonely, loneliness, sad, sadness, photo album, photo albums, family dog, family dogs, proud parent, proud parents
'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'
"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."
A stork races a deer while both carry a newborn.
'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'
Tags:baby, babies, born, birth, births, worth, worthless, depreciate, depreciation, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, value, values, valuation, valuations, valuing, cost, costs, costing, costings, price, prices, pricing, priced, after birth, newborn, newborns, new born, new borns, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"So this is the secret to the start of labour!"
Tags:pregnancies, uterus, pregnancy, umbilical chord, umbilical cords, birth, birth canal, contractions, contraction, labour, labor, childbirth, childbirths, fetus, pre-natal, dilation, after birth, gynaecology, gynaecologist, gynaecologists, expectant mother, expectant mothers, new born, new borns, traffic light, traffic lights, red light, green light, green lights, red lights
Baby with projectile vomit
"Listen darling - His first e-mail!"
"It looks to me like the human species is advancing. Your baby has been born with three USB ports."
'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
"�nappies, gripe water. Oh, and a couple of frozen chickens. The midwife said breast feeding's the best"