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"My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend and all I got was a new therapist."
Tags:child, children, kid, kids, family, families, divorce, divorced, divorcing, divorces, divorced parents, separated, separate, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, dad, dads, father, fathers, parent, parents, broken home, broken homes, blended family, blended families, childhood mental health, childhood anxiety, therapy, therapist, therapists, child therapy, child therapist, child therapists, new boyfriend, new boyfriends, new girlfriend, new girlfriends, new partner, new partners
"Your mother and I think he's very nice, dear, but isn't he just a little bit old?"
"Wait till to meet him, Mom! He reads books, has a checking account, and can even write script!"
"Don't let my parents get to you—they hate everyone I bring home."
Tags:meet the parents, meeting the parents, introduction, introductions, introduce, introduces, introducing, in-law, in-laws, inlaw, inlaws, boyfriend, boyfriends, new boyfriend, new boyfriends, parent, parents, awkward situation, awkward situations, awkward, felon, felons, felons, perp, perps, perp walk, perp walks, cop, cops, police officer, police officers, police woman, police women, prisoner, prisoners, arrested, jailed, inmate, inmates, first impression, first impressions, bad impression, bad impressings, leaving a bad impression
"Daddy, this is Fletcher - unplugged."
Tags:new boyfriend, new boyfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, acoustic, acoustic guitar, acoustic guitars, guitarist, guitarists, guitar player, guitar players, unplugged, father, fathers, dad, dads, daughter, daughters, parent, parents, introduction, introductions, introduce, introduces, introducing, loser, losers, first impression, first impressions, bad first impression, bad first impressions, musician, musicians
"What can I say? He makes me laugh."
Tags:breakup, breakups, breaking up, split up, splits up, splitting up, infidelity, infidelities, crime fighter, crime fighters, crime fighting, comic, comics, comic book, comic books, superhero, superheroes, superhero team, superhero teams, villain, villainous, common ground, find common ground, finding common ground, new boyfriend, new boyfriends, jealous, jealousy, team, teams, duo, duos, couple, couples
I know he's a dog, but I think I can change him...
"Ted's flamboyantly straight."
Tags:flamboyant, flamboyance, straight, out and proud, out of the closet, boyfriend, boyfriends, manly, manliness, masculine, masculinity, toxic masculinity, boyfriend, boyfriends, new boyfriend, new boyfriends, straight guy, straight guys, jock, jocks, sports nut, sports nuts, couple, couples, embarrassing, embarrass, embarrasses, humiliate, humiliates, humiliation, ashamed
"Guess who's in love?"
"I gave you my number so you could call me, not run a background check."
"He's a Clark Kent type, but he has no alternative identity."
Tags:bore, bores, boring, nice guy, nice guys, date, dates, dating, single, single life, single lives, gossip, gossips, gossiping, new boyfriend, new boyfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, partner, partners, superhero, superheroes, secret identity, secret identities, super-hero, super-heroes, super-heroic, husband, husbands, bland, blandness, mediocre, mediocrity
"Oh, great—here comes my ex, try not to act so bald..."
Tags:ex, exes, ex-husband, good foot forward, best foot forward, impress, impresses, impressing, ex-spouse, ex-wife, ex-wives, new boyfriend, new boyfriends, date, dates, dating, cocktail party, cocktail parties, superficial, immature, immaturity, spite, spiteful, bitter, bitterness, anger, angry, sour grapes, bald, middle-aged, attractive, attractiveness, jealous, jealousy, make jealous, unattractive, insult, insults, insulting, hurtful, hurtful comment, hurtful comments, cutting comment, cutting comments
"I'm so glad you could meet my folks!"
Tags:meet the parents, meeting the parents, meet the folks, dead, dead body, dead bodies, body, bodies, corpse, corpses, horror, horror film, horror films, horror movie, horror movies, die, died, dead, boyfriend, boyfriends, new boyfriend, new boyfriends, insane, crazy, insanity, meet, meets, meeting, girlfriends, new girlfriend, new girlfriends, in-law, in-laws, introduction, introductions, introduce, introduces, introducing
Closing time, and a man and a woman are checking each other out across the bar: 'Slim pickings.' 'Fat chance.'
"I found him on Dregs List."
Tags:social media, online dating, internet dating, internet dating site, internet dating sites, personal ad, personals ad, personals ads, homeless, homeless person, homeless people, bum, bums, date, dates, blind date, blind dates, new boyfriend, new boyfriends, cocktail party, cocktail parties, introduce, introducing, introduction, out of your league
"I Met Him Through Caller-ID."
'You're fast, Ted, but Steven is just so fascinating.'
"He can do amazing jumps and tail walks! We have a date Tuesday night..."
Tags:dolphin, dolphins, trick, tricks, do tricks, doing tricks, jump, jumps, jumping, flip, flips, flipping, crush, crushes, tail walk, tail walks, leap, leaps, leaping, date, dates, dating, boyfriend, boyfriends, new boyfriend, new boyfriends, trained dolphin, trained dolphins, ideal partner, ideal partners
'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'
'I'm falling in love with Eddie... he has the most beautiful biggest organ ever!'
'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'
"Do you know how hard it is when people don't fit into my neat, pre-conceived notions?"
Tags:baldo, misconception, misconceptions, racism, casual racism, spanish speaker, spanish speakers, monolingual, hispanic, hispanics, latino, latinos, latin american, latin americans, stereotype, stereotypes, stereotyping, preconception, preconceptions, date, dates, mother, mothers, boyfriend, boyfriends, new boyfriend, new boyfriends
Frankie and Johnny were lovers...
'Some guys wait awhile before showing their true colors. I appreciate you not wasting any time.'
'Daddy, this is my new boyfriend...he's in advertising!'