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"I went out on a limb to hire you. Dolan."
Tags:monkey, monkeys, out on a limb, going out on a limb, risk, risks, taking risks, risk taker, risk takers, hiring process, new employee, new employees, mistake, mistakes, bad employee, bad employees, disappointment, disappointments, play on words, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers
"Besides caring too much? I'd probably have to go with Kryptonite."
Tags:superhero, superheroes, hero, heros, job interview, recruit, new recruit, recruiter, recruiting, potential employee, new employee, hire, hiring, human resources, hr, career, careers, job, jobs, work, employment, employer, weakness, what is your weakness, kryptonite, job search, job hunting, weaknesses
'That's Fred, the new hire. He's one of those corporate renaissance types who erases organization-chart boundaries wherever he goes!'
"He's young- I don't like that in a man."
Tags:young person, young people, the youth, threaten, threatened, threatening, hotshot, hotshots, executives, executive, business executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, boss, bosses, business manager, business managers, prejudice, prejudiced, millennial, millennials, new blood, new talent, young talent, new employee, new employees
"You'll be a perfect addition to our expendable workforce."
Tags:business, businesses, company, companies, corporate, corporation, corporations, management, manager, managers, executive, executives, hierarchy, employee, employees, worker, workers, expendable, unimportant, replaceable, disposable, not important, lowly, low, low man on the totem pole, office life, office, offices, position, positions, rank, ranks, perfect addition, perfect additions, hiring, hire, hired, new worker, new employee, new workers, new employees, recruit, recruiter, recruiters, recruitment, hr, human resources, h.r.
"Everyone- meet Frederick."
Tags:elephant, elephants, board meeting, board meetings, business meeting, business meetings, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, desk job, desk jobs, new job, new jobs, new employee, new employees, introduction, introductions, welcome, welcomes, elephant in the room, the elephant in the room
"He was a private man."
'Poor work habits can be contagious, so we usually quarantine our new employees for a period of observation.'
'You'll like it here, Clayton. In fact it's one of our rules.'
"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"
Tags:business meeting, business meetings, meeting, meetings, client, clients, new client, new clients, new hire, new hires, new employee, new employees, employer, employers, employees, hiring, hiring process, hire, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, human resources, hr, h.r., recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, surprise, surprises, unexpected, walrus, walruses, surprise, surprised, businessmen, businessman, salesman, salesmen, sales call, sales calls, business deal, business deals, sexism, sexist, women in business, women, women in power
'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'
'Hi, you must be the new guy.'
'Welcome aboard, Paltrow. Where do you see yourself in the scheme of things?'
"And Thursday is karaoke night."
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, hiring, hired, hiring manager, manager, managers, employment, employee, employees, get together, gathering, karaoke, sing along, trend, trends, perk, work perks, benefit, benefits, modern life, new hire, new employee, new hires, new employees, new staff
"I'm sorry, Detrick, It's company policy - 'Last hired, First shot'."
Tags:fired, firing, new employee, new employees, getting fired, canned, can, canning, new job, new jobs, getting canned, getting the sack, sacking, sacked, shot, last hired first fired, shooting, gun, guns, laid off, laid-off, lay off, lay-off, lay offs, lay-offs, redundancy, made redundant, redundancies, downsizing, unemployed, unemployment, last hired
'This test has nothing to do with psychological profiling, we just need to make sure we're not hiring an idiot.'
'I'm just curious as to why you've only worked here a total of 15 minutes, and you've already put in for a 5-week vacation.'
'Chief, this is Bob. He got into the wrong car pool this morning and came to work with us. Can we keep him?'
'...and Fred here will be your overseer.'
'You said you wanted to start off at the top, well, I agree. I'm having your desk moved up here as we speak.'
'If the total is wrong, is the whole thing wrong?'
"And, as a new employee, you are immediately entitled to participate in the company's proactive health plan."
Tags:personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, recruiter, recruiters, recruitment, new job, new jobs, hiring, new employee, new employees, new hire, new hires, new worker, new workers, employee, employees, worker, workers, business, businessman, businessmen, businesswoman, businesswomen, apple, apples, fruit, one a day, proactive, health plan, health plans, insurance, health insurance, medical insurance, insurance, healthcare, health care, company, companies, corporate, medical, medicine, benefit, benefits, modern life
"When do the training wheels come off?"
'I think you'll like working here. We have an on-site work-out room, dry cleaner, and, for those who need it, electro shock therapy center.'