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"I went out on a limb to hire you. Dolan."
Tags:monkey, monkeys, out on a limb, going out on a limb, risk, risks, taking risks, risk taker, risk takers, hiring process, new employee, new employees, mistake, mistakes, bad employee, bad employees, disappointment, disappointments, play on words, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers
"Besides caring too much? I'd probably have to go with Kryptonite."
Tags:superhero, superheroes, hero, heros, job interview, recruit, new recruit, recruiter, recruiting, potential employee, new employee, hire, hiring, human resources, hr, career, careers, job, jobs, work, employment, employer, weakness, what is your weakness, kryptonite, job search, job hunting, weaknesses
"We can't offer you the satisfaction of a gratifying career, but how does a paid week off and dental sound?"
"Here's how to fit in: overstress, overthink, and wine about everything."
Tags:fit in, fitting in, new employee, new employees, newbie, new job, new jobs, workplace culture, workplace cultures, complain, complaining, complaints, stress, stressful environment, stressful workplace, stressful workplaces, whine, whinge, stoned, stoner, stoners, joint, joints, smoking, smoker, smokers, marajana
"Dress is casual here. We don't pay our workers enough to buy suits."
Tags:job interview, job interviews, candidate, candidates, hire, hires, hiring, job, jobs, new employee, new employees, hr, human resources, personnel, contract, contracts, attire, dress code, dress codes, casual, dress casual, workers, pay, paid, low, enough, casaully, relax, relaxed, relaxing, suit, suits, unaffordable, wage, wages, minimum wage, minimum wages
"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."
Tags:business, businesses, new employee, new employees, introduction, introductions, introduces, introduce, prisoner, prisoners, ex-convict, ex-convicts, minimum security, minimum-security, reassure, reassuring, reassurance, reassured, correctional facility, correctional facilities, criminal record, criminal records, reputation, reputations, qualified, qualification, previous employment, previous employer
'That's Fred, the new hire. He's one of those corporate renaissance types who erases organization-chart boundaries wherever he goes!'
"He's young- I don't like that in a man."
Tags:young person, the youth, threaten, threatened, threatening, hotshot, hotshots, executives, executive, business executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, boss, bosses, business manager, business managers, prejudice, prejudiced, millennial, millennials, new blood, new talent, young talent, new employee, new employees
"Gentlemen, this is Mr. Griscom, Super Films' new horror expert."
Tags:film, films, movie, movies, horror films, horror movies, golden age hollywood, film makers, film company, film companies, movie company, movie companies, new employee, new team member, expert, horror expert, spooky, spooky looking, board meeting, board meetings, old boys club, vintage movies, 1940s movies, vintage films, 1940s films, vintage, vintage cartoon, 1940s
"You'll be a perfect addition to our expendable workforce."
Tags:business, businesses, company, companies, corporate, corporation, corporations, management, manager, managers, executive, executives, hierarchy, employee, employees, worker, workers, expendable, unimportant, replaceable, disposable, not important, lowly, low, low man on the totem pole, office life, office, offices, position, positions, rank, ranks, perfect addition, perfect additions, hiring, hire, hired, new worker, new employee, new workers, new employees, recruit, recruiter, recruiters, recruitment, hr, human resources, h.r.
"This is where they keep the corporate ladder."
Tags:new employee, new employees, new job, new jobs, orientation, tour, tours, shown around, showing around, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, climb the ladder, climbing the ladder, climbing the corporate ladder, climbing the corporate ladders, literal, literalness, idiom, idioms, saying, sayings
"He was a private man."
The Envelope-America Corporation New Employees' Seminar #1
"Welcome aboard, Mr. Ryker. For a while you'll be a little frog in a big pond, but we need little frogs."
Tags:hire, hires, hiring, new job, new jobs, new employee, employees, organisation, organisations, organization, organizations, corporate, corporation, nobody, nobodies, unimportant, irrelevant, unqualified, little frog, frog, frogs, little frog in a big pond, idiom, idioms, expression, expressions, dirty work, nonexistent, bottom, corporate ladder, corporate hierarchy
"I have to go through a six month probationary period before getting full cubicle privileges."
'Poor work habits can be contagious, so we usually quarantine our new employees for a period of observation.'
"You'll bite the bullet, get kicked in the teeth, and be asked to grin and bear it... but dental is included."
Tags:job offer, job offers, comp and bens, benefits, workplace benefits, dental, dental plan, dentist, dentists, metaphor, metaphors, teeth, tooth, bite the bullet, kicked in the teeth, grin and bear it, perks, perks of the job, difficult job, difficult jobs, thankless task, thankless tasks, new employee, new employees
'You'll like it here, Clayton. In fact it's one of our rules.'
"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"
Tags:business meeting, business meetings, meeting, meetings, client, clients, new client, new clients, new hire, new hires, new employee, new employees, employer, employers, employees, hiring, hiring process, hire, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, human resources, hr, h.r., recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, surprise, surprises, unexpected, walrus, walruses, surprise, surprised, businessmen, businessman, salesman, salesmen, sales call, sales calls, business deal, business deals, sexist, women in business, women, women in power
"Did I say 'corner office'? I meant 'corner of my office'."
Tags:corner office, corner offices, office, offices, lie, lies, lying, lied, cheat, cheats, fool, fooled, fools, fooling, recruitment, recruitment officer, recruitment officers, false information, false, false info, false informations, new employee, employees, employee, newbie, newbies, misunderstanding, misunderstand, misunderstood, misunderstands, workplace, workplaces, boss, bosses
"Who's the new guy?"
Tags:robot, robots, newbie, newbies, office, offices, workplace, workplaces, job, jobs, new employee, new employees, delivery service, delivery services, delivery, delivery man, delivery men, delivery, new guy, new guys, question, questions, hired, hire, hires, hiring, management, management team, managerial department, roboticist, roboticists, robots take over, the future, modernity, modernism
'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'
"As a matter of a fact we ARE recruiting new interns."
Tags:rabbit, rabbits, bunny, bunnies, easter, easter bunny, easter egg, easter eggs, intern, interns, internship, internships, recruit, recruitment, recruitments, recruiting, recruited, recruits, hire, hires, hired, hiring, hiring manager, hiring managers, manager, managers, matter of fact, why not, new employee, new employees, employer, employers, seasonal holiday, seasonal holidays, easter holiday, easter holidays, chocolate, chocolates
'Hi, you must be the new guy.'