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"Look, babe. At this point, you've reinvented yourself so many times you're back to who you were at the start."
"I've had my teeth whitened my vision corrected, my face tightened and my hair implanted. Now I'd like to have my birth certificate changed."
"Needless to say, in the course of redefining myself I've taken certain liberties with the factual record."
"I'd like you to meet Nan and Leo, but I think you already know Nan from back when it was Nan and Ralph."
'Instead of trying to figure out your checking account, we're just going to grant you a new identity.'
"The court granted me a new identity!"
'I'm a butterfly, I'm a butterfly...'
'At least you got something out of your political rehabilitation.'
Outside the 'FBI New Identity Office' a man says to another waiting, 'Zybisco Borealus. What's yours?'
'I have a few questions about the new identity your witness protection people set up for me.'
'Bernie's not really a transvestite -- he's just paranoid about identity theft.'
'I don't think he's too happy with the identity we've given him, sarge!'