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'I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to sell you that smart phone without first verifying your IQ.'
"This is programmed with the answers to 500 popular essay questions."
"The only person you can dial is yourself."
Why some folks don't want to upgrade their phones...
"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"
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Last season's mobile phones - recycling.
There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.
'I've got blisters on my fingers from my move last weekend.'
"What are those fireworks? It's not the 4th of July?" "Jim bought a new phone."
'It's out most advanced 'smartphone' the 'smartarse' phone.'
Line up for the latest thing! Buy it now!
"This can take 3-D pictures, forecast the weather, and even dry my hair, but the one thing my new phone can't do is make phone calls."
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"Aren't you supposed to get rid of the old mobile, when you buy a new one."
Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.
"This new phone is totally cool. The only thing it needs a ringer that plays a song more annoying than anyone else."
It's a WAP enabled phone...just what the kids need for taking pictures of each others arses.
For safety reasons we recommend you use traditional ring tones when programming your phone.
'I recommend getting the earpiece, it leaves your hands free for all kinds of interesting things.'
'With my new phone I can lie out of both side of my mouth 24/7.'
'You bought yourself a new cell phone, so it was only fair that I bought myself something. There's only one small difference...the cost.'
In case of emergency phones.
"This is the politicians model, it doesn't actually give an answer."
"Sounds thrilling, tell IT to call me."
"My new mobile phone makes me feel so space age!"
"And the winner for the fastest time for dropping and breaking a new phone is Timmy, at 1 hour and 23 minutes."