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The wise men are followed by an auditor.
"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."
Tags:religion, religious, god, pray, prayer, prayers, praying, bible, biblical, new testament, mammon, evil, business, businessman, businessmen, money, finances, wealth, wealthy, rich, greed, greedy, avarice, materialism, materialistic, communication, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, put on hold, hold, holding
Jesus sighted walking off Malibu.
"So much for nepotism."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, new testament, jesus, jesus christ, crucifixion, death of jesus, death of jesus christ, good friday, cross, crosses, crucifix, crucifixes, history, historical, biblical times, ancient, nepotism, favouritism, favoritism, bias, preferential treatment, preferred treatment, preference, preferences, family, families, relatives, children, politics, business, capital punishment
"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."
Tags:1 corinthians 13:11, bible quote, bible quotes, new testament, gospel, gospels, sunday school, sunday schools, bible teaching, bible teachings, drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards, drinking problem, drinking problems, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, childishness, childish ways, pub, pubs, bar, bars, growing up, rites of passage, growing pains
"Everyone wants to known what Jesus would do. No one ever asks how Jesus is feeling about his complicated relationship with his father."
Tags:complication, complicated, complications, relationship, relationships, father, fathers, dad, dads, son, sons, father-son, jesus, bible story, bible stories, gospel, gospels, dysfunctional relationship, dysfunctional relationships, god, new testament, christianity, wwjd, what would jesus do, christian, christians
"Maybe he can't swim."
Tags:swim, swims, swimming, swimmer, swimmers, christ, miracle, miracles, miraculous, new testament, jesus, gospel, gospels, bible, bible story, bible stories, non-swimmer, non-swimmers, walk on water, walks on water, walking on water, can't swim, excuse, excuses, poor excuse, poor excuses, lame excuse, lame excuses, son of god
The Twelve Speech Writers
Tags:last supper, leonardo da vinci, renaissance art, speech writer, speech writers, speech writing, speech-writer, speech-writers, twelve disciples, 12 disciples, gospel, gospels, bible story, bible stories, new testament, religious beliefs, bible lesson, bible lessons, bible quote, bible quotes, bible teaching, bible teachings, proverb, proverbs, christian, christians, christianity
"Being around Jesus brings out all my apostle issues."
A woman carrying a baby being turned out into a snowstorm by the Minotaur
Tags:religion, religious, bible, new testament, christmas, xmas, noel, yule, jesus's birth, the birth of jesus, son of god, jesus, jesus christ, baby jesus, mary, mother of god, jesus's mother, the nativity, christmas story, mother, mothers, baby, babies, mom, moms, mum, mums, kid, kids, child, children, greek, greece, ancient, myth, myths, legend, legends, mythology, bull, bulls, minotaur, minotaur's maze, minotaur's labyrinth, maze, mazes, labyrinth, labyrinths, snow, snowing, snowstorm, snowstorms, footprints, weather, winter, bad weather, turning away, turned away, sent away, leaving, creature, creatures, monster, monsters, charity, uncharitable, uncompassionate, season of giving, pasiphae
"I didn't have time to go shopping,so I just wrote him a nice check."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, new testament, nativity story, christmas story, jesus, jesus christ, baby jesus, birth of jesus, jesus's birth, son of god, three wise men, three kings, magi, balthazar, melchior, caspar, gold, frankincense, myrrh, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas, noel, yule, shopping, cheque, cheques, check, checks, money
Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.
'Would a dash of hollandaise sauce be too much to ask?'
Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.
"Forget it. We're not stopping again."
Tags:death, war, wars, pestilence, famine, hunger, hungry, pit stop, pit stops, restaurant, restaurants, grim reaper, grim reapers, reaper, reapers, four horsemen, apocalypse, apocalypses, four horsemen of the apocalypse, revelation, new testament, bible, horse, horses, road, roads, stop, stops, break, breaks
"I preferred the Old Testament God."
Tags:old testament, god, gods, deity, deities, divine being, divine beings, lightening strike, lightening strikes, lightning strike, lightning strikes, golfer, golfers, golf course, golf courses, golf player, golf players, new testament, angel, angels, heaven, heavens, divine anger, divine intervention, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories
"I never should have given out my wifi password. . ."
Tags:wifi password, internet password, free internet, smartphone, smartphones, cell, cells, mobile, mobiles, screen time, screen-time, screen addict, screen addicts, disciple, disciples, jesus, the last supper, leonard da vinci, renaissance art, bible story, bible, new testament, gospel, easter, twelve disciples, 12 disciples
"Wow! It's beginning to look a lot like Xmas."
"Sure, the New Testament looks like a winner, but has it got legs?"
Tags:new testament, flash in the pan, flashes in the pan, trend, trends, trendy, one hit wonder, one hit wonders, bible, the bible, bible story, bible stories, gospel, gospels, gospel story, gospel stories, has it got legs, staying power, stay, stays, staying, lasting impression, lasting impressions, old testament, traditional, traditionalist, christian, christians, christianity
"I don't mind the weeping but whoever's gnashing their teeth…. Quit it!"
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, office, offices, office life, meeting, meetings, board meeting board meetings, board member, board members, executive, executives, exec, execs, management, manager, managers, boss, bosses, cutbacks, layoffs, bad news, upset, disappointed, sad, weeping, crying, gnashing teeth, bible, biblical, new testament, hell, expression, expressions, word play, wordplay
Wolf in a men's clothing store buying a sheepskin outfit
Tags:animal, animals, wolf, wolves, big bad wolf, suit, suits, tailor, tailors, shop, shops, store, stores, menswear, men's fashion, fashion, style, clothes, clothing, men's clothes, men's clothing, new clothes, new clothing, shopping, clothes shopping, sheepskin, wolf in sheep's clothing, outfit, outfits, bible, biblical, idiom, idioms, expression, expressions, new testament, jesus, jesus christ, religion, religious, sermon, sermons, aesop, aesop's fables, fable, fables, literature, story, stories
"Did Jesus create these locally?"
Tags:religion, religious, christian, christians, christianity, bible, biblical times, new testament, jesus, jesus christ, son of god, god, power, powers, power of god, miracle, miracles, loaves, bread, fish, crowd, crowds, crowded, local, food, local food, organic, organic food, locally sourced, local food movement, locavore, locavores, eating sustainably, sustainable eating, modern life
"...and Jerry here has brought the gift of 'The Gab'."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, new testament, three kings, three wise men, magi, the christmas story, nativity, the birth of jesus, jesus's birth, bethlehem, jesus, jesus christ, christmas, noel, yule, xmas, mary, joseph, bethlehem, gift, gifts, present, presents, gift of gab, gab, talking, speaking, novelty glasses, nose glasses
"Thomas! Did Judas put you up to that?"
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, new testament, jesus, jesus christ, son of god, last supper, disciple, disciples, judas, thomas, prank, pranks, joke, jokes, joking, practical joke, practical jokes, gag, gags, clown, clowns, jokster, joksters, comedian, comedians, fooling around, bunny ears, art, painting, paintings, portrait, portraits, leonardo davinci, da vinci, famous painting, famous paintings, photo, photos, photograph, photographs, photography, photographer, photographers, annoying, annoyed, modern life
'No thanks, I'm trying to avoid getting involved in gang culture.'