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'Congratulations It's a spork'
'Wait, breathe or don't breathe? Oh jeez, why did I have to sleep through Lamaze class?'
'My god, he's insane.'
Batman at the Maternity Ward
Tags:maternity ward, maternity wards, maternity unit, maternity units, maternity clinic, maternity clinics, nurse, newborn, newborns, nursery, nurseries, baby, babies, infant, infants, father, fathers, fatherhood, taking after your dad, taking after your dads, superhero, superheroes, super hero, super heroes, comic book, comic books, comic book character, comic book characters, superhero movie, superhero movies, crime fighter, crime fighters, superhero life, life of a superhero, new dad, new dads, new father, new fathers, father's pride, dad's pride, pride
A father ignores his newborn to stare at a young midwife
Tags:midwife, midwives, baby, babies, newborn, newborns, maternity ward, maternity wards, vintage maternity ward, vintage maternity wards, father, fathers, new father, new fathers, stare, staring, stares, lech, sleeze, sleezy, lecherous, creep, creepy, distracted, distraction, distractions, old fashioned sexism, bad father, bad fathers, bad dad, bad dads, vintage, vintage cartoon, vintage cartoons
"The baby's nice, but it's not the narcissistic rush I thought it would be."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, baby, babies, new baby, bew babies, new born, new borns, newborn, newborns, mother, mothers, motherhood, narcissism, narcissist, narcissists, self centred, self centered, self-centred, self centered, new parent, new parents, selfish, selfishness, disappointment, disappointments, disappointing, postpartum depression, postnatal depression
"I wish I'd started therapy at your age."
New Mothers and Priorities
The Colicky Family
Tags:colic, complain, complains, complaining, scream, screams, screaming, cry, cries, crying, complaint, complaints, complaining, complainer, complainers, whine, whines, whiny, moans, moaning, infant, infants, newborn, newborns, baby, babies, new parent, new parents, hysterical, hysterics, adults, adulthood, grievance, grievances, air grievances, airing grievances, petty, infantile, act your age, acting your age, maturity, immature, immaturity
'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'
'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'
"Do you know its sexual identity?"
'Perhaps you could give him a touch of astigmatism, kids with glasses are sooo cute!'
'Hey look, the shiny thing is shining... just like yesterday... and last week... man I wish they'd put a tv in here.'
"How's the insomnia?"
Tags:baby, babies, sleep pattern, sleep patterns, sleep cycle, sleep cycles, newborn, newborns, insomnia, insomniac, insomniacs, sleep problem, sleep problems, sleeping problems, checkup, checkups, sleep deprivation, parent, parents, parenthood, new parent, new parents, sleep regression, sleep regressions
'Ugh Not Again!'
Tags:newborn, newborns, baby, babies, parenthood, parenting, family life, family-life, new parent, new parents, nap, naps, besotted, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family time, cuddle, cuddles, mummy, mummies, housework, household chore, household chores, chore, chores, overwhelmed, unconditional love, new parents, maternity leave
Newborns on cell phones
Tags:maternity ward, maternity wards, hospital, hospitals, maternity hospital, maternity hospitals, newborn, newborns, nursery, nurseries, baby, babies, newborn baby, newborn babies, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smartphone, smart phones, phone addict, phone addicts, technology addict, technology addicts, technology addition, technology addictions, new father, new fathers, new parent, new parents, children and technology
Tags:rhino, rhinos, rhinoceros, rhinoceroses, baby, babies, newborn, newborns, proud parent, proud parents, parental pride, proud, parent, parents, hospital, hospitals, ward, wards, baby ward, baby wards, maternity ward, maternity wards, family resemblance, family resemblances, gene, genes, genetic, genetics, proud dad, proud dads, proud father, proud fathers, dad, dads, father, fathers, family life, new parent, new parents, fatherhood
Baby nappies are a toxic waste.
"I want to deprive him of all the things I had too much of."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, baby, babies, newborn, newborns, new baby, new babies, infant, infants, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, deprive, depriving, deprived childhood, deprived childhoods, too much, spoil, spoiled, spoiling, problem, problems, family issues, family problems, raising kids, raising children, modern life, modern families, modern parenting, modern parenthood
"Tickets to the birth of my son or daughter? I got 'em who needs 'em?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenthood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, pregnancy, pregnancies, new baby, baby, babies, newborn, newborns, birth, son, sons, daughter, daughter, child, children, kid, kids, hospital, hospitals, maternity ward, maternity wards, ticket, tickets, buy tickets, scalper, scalpers, ticket scalping, ticket seller, ticket sellers, ticket resale, ticketing touting, admission, proud, proud parent, proud parents, show-off, showing-off, brag, bragging, sketchy, dodgy
"Which one generates the most synapses?"
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, newborn, newborns, infant, infants, baby, babies, mobile, mobiles, crib, cribs, stages of development, development, brain development, brain, brains, synapses, neurons, nervous system, biology, neurology, neurologist, neurologists, science, education, educational toy, educational toys, starting young, getting ahead, childhood, modern life
'You saved $.05 for using your own bag.'
"Did he sleep through the night again?"