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'That was close! I almost answered a question I was asked.'
'Tim, the idea we would bug reporter's phones and listen to their private calls is preposterous. Incidentally, how was your wife's bunion surgery? And are Timmy Jr's grades improving.'
'I'm sorry to report that the notorious and delicious villain 'Lard man' has slipped through our fingers once again.'
Senator Yomp: 'The senator is restricting this news conference to questions about his grandchildren and their pets.'
'Yes, I lighten my hair. But only to be fairer and more accountable to the taxpayers.'
'Find out why the media is assembling outside our building.'
'After a brief statement, we'll open up the floor for a little dancing...'
'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'
'I really believe folks need to know that there are two guys out here that aren't running for anything!'
"For a change of pace, you shout and answer and I'll make up a question."