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"This is ghastly! Give me a moment to wipe the smile off my face."
"This Just In."
Tags:news, the news, newsreader, newsreaders, news reader, news readers, newscaster, newcasters, this just in, news broadcast, news broadcasts, news broadcasting, reporting, reporter, reporters, new reporter, new reporters, latest news, the latest news, bomb, bombs, bombing, nuclear bomb, nuclear bombing, war, nuclear war, conflict, conficts, tv, television, tv broadcasting, tv broadcasters, tv broadcatser, television brocasting, television broadcaster, television broadcasters, live tv, live television, anchor men, anchor man, anchormen, anchorman, unfortunate, surprise, surprised, shock, shocked
"No, no, the way you're shifting your papers - it's all wrong."
Tags:news anchor, news anchors, news man, newsmen, newsman, news reader, news readers, serious face, stonefaced, stone face, serious, journalist, journalists, journalism, tv news, television news, news journalist, news journalists, superficial, shuffle papers, shuffles papers, shuffling papers, gravitas, presence, screen presence, direction, directions, give direction, gives direction, giving direction, personality
"We're in love.""Details at eleven."
'Well, that's all the news. Now we'll just have to sit here and wait for something else to happen.'
All things previously thought to be good for us are in fact harmful to our health.
"And, when we come back, Liz will be here with lots more lip gloss."
"Hear ye, hear ye! I'm Rolf. I'm Gweneth. And this is Kingdom News at 5."
"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."
Tags:dead horse, dead horses, internet culture, internet comments, internet communication, internet communications, news, tv news, news anchor, news anchors, news reader, news readers, beaten into the ground, run into the ground, internet culture, internet age, online news, news sources, news source
"Well Wendy, results were mixed this week - interest rates edged up, while hte lowest common denominator was down. Again."
'Some good economic news today...the dollar gained against the value of the quarter, dime and nickel...'
"Hey, cool, there's stuff written on the back of the crawl."
Tags:news crawl, news crawls, news headline, news headlines, headline, headlines, breaking news, news reader, news readers, news story, news stories, news ticker, news tickers, ticker, trickers, news anchor, news anchors, tv news, television news, notification, news program, news programs, news show, news shows
'Maybe it's one of those super-stations.'
'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'
"If the TV news frightens you, why do you watch it?"
"Here's a late bulletin. Wendy and I have been fired, so we'll just say goodbye and God bless."
Tags:fired, firing, firings, news anchor, news anchors, news reader, news readers, late bulletin, late bulletins, headline news, sack, sacked, sacking, sackings, humiliate, humiliates, humiliating, humiliation, humiliations, local news, fund, funds, funding, public shame, public firing, public firings, sign off, signs off, signing off, layoff, layoffs, laid off, bad news, unfortunate news
'My oh my! Doesn't that newcaster seem well informed!'
"I said I'll do the sports now!"
Tags:sports, weather, government, stocks, entertainment, blah-blah-blah, news, music, annoyances, muzak, white noise, ignore, ignores, ignoring, radio commentary, newsreader, newsreaders, news reader, news readers, news anchor, news anchors, npr, national public radio, public radio, relax, relaxes, relaxing, mankoff
"The network's infotainment division thinks you should open with a song."
'In our top story tonight, the cue-card holders union will remain on strike. . .'
'...And in local weather, Ken's cologne has clashed with Trish's hair spray, causing a thunder shower over the news desk.'
Tags:weather, weathers, forecast, forecasts, forecasting, forecasted, forecaster, forecasters, news, news reader, news readers, anchor, anchors, clash, clashes, clashing, clashed, thunder, thunders, storm, storms, stormy, cloud, clouds, cloudy, hairspray, cologne, shower, showers, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Same old, same old.'
"George - we don't have an opposing point of view!"
'I got a video broadcasting degree with a minor in news reading and a major in perky.'
Tags:video journalism, broadcasting, perky, vivacious, energetic, lively, news reader, news readers, news reading, news anchor, news anchors, jorunalist, journalists, reporter, reporters, school, education, major, minor, degree, higher education, trite, light weight, frivolous, silly, mass tastes, commercial