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"A Ms. Ramona Bissell of West Allison, Vermont, writes, 'What the hell is going on?' We here at WVCN think that question deserves an answer."
Tags:question, questions, question and answer, questioning, reporter, reporters, reporting, outrage, outraged, populist, populists, populism, anger, angry, fury, furious, explanation, explanations, demand an explanation, demands an explanation, demanding an explanation, answer, answers, demand answers, demanding answers, newscast, newscasts, newscaster, newscasters, reporter, reporters, reporting, news report, news reports
"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."
Tags:news cycle, news cycles, news show, news shows, news program, news programs, news report, news reports, press conference, press conferences, press, media, press release, press releases, press statement, press, statements, media statement, media statements, reporter, reporters, journalism, journalist, journalists, headline, headlines
"Who am I to question our government's policies? I'll tell you who I am! I'm Bernard A. Nesbitt, who reads the 'Times,' the 'Wall Street Journal,' the 'Post,' 'Newsweek,' 'Time,' 'Business Week,' 'U.S.News & World Report,' 'Look,' 'Life,' and 'Saturday Evening Post.' That's who I am!"
Tags:current events, current event, news report, news reports, news story, news stories, government policy, government policies, informed, news show, news shows, informed reader, news program, news programs, political events, political event, headline, headlines, magazine, magazines, cocktail party, cocktail parties, small talk, small-talk, critic, critics, critical, cynic, cynics, political opposition, political opponent, political opponents, political view, political views, informed voter, informed voters, qualification, qualifications, opinion, opinions, opinionated, unqualified, armchair expert, armchair experts, expert, experts, expertise
Paperboy delivers the Avian news to his bird customers.
"I'll check the news."
"Ronald Reagan won two victories in the Senate today, one victory in the House, and one victory in House-Senate conference, which gives him a career total of a hundred and ninety victories - only thirty-nine short of the world's record of two hundred and twenty-nine victories, held by Franklin Delano Roosevelt."
Tags:victory, victories, ronald reagan, report, reporting, news, news reports, reports, sport, sports, commentating, commentary, commentaries, reporter, sports-report, sports-reporter, politics, political, washington, dc, d.c., new cycle, cycle, 24hr news cycle, twenty four hour news cycle, 24 hour news cycle, modern reporting, journalism, journalists, tv news, house of representatives, senate, senators, media, newsmedia, hyper
"Markets reacted to the news by edging aside kind of awkwardly and then pretending to take a phone call."
"How come none of these economists are unemployed?"
Hoping to encourage readers to buy the hard copy of the paper, the Journal Times Herald, only printed every other word in its online edition.
'In a dramatic reversal, economists now believe that leading economic indicators are now lagging economic indicators.'
'I can't open a paper without reading another grizzly story.'
"And this brings to a conclusion, thank goodness, our broadcast day."
"Well, if the news bothers you so, turn it off."
'Watch the news with the sound turned off. You're suffering from information overload.'
DAILY DESPAIR - Right we'll lead on 'environmental armageddon followed by the bird flu ' end of humanity story' and the main feature will be questioning the reasons for increases in depression.
'I'm glad you asked that, Marcia. Our latest poll indicates that for most Americans, instant gratification is no longer fast enough!'
'Here's a rundown of today's stock prices...citizen uprisings...paradigm shifts...'
'Newsflash: Experts are warning that overloading the Cloud with billions of bytes could cause massive rain and flooding.'
'The government announced that to reduce the budget deficit, it will move the decimal two points to the left.'
'The F.D.A. has recalled everything!'
'It's been reported that the Human Genome Project has discovered a sticking-your-foot-in-your-mouth gene.'
The 6 A.M. News Team
Tags:news team, news teams, news show, news shows, early morning, early mornings, news program, news programs, 6 am, six am, morning person, morning people, morning news, news report, news reports, anchor, anchors, graveyard shift, morning shift, morning shifts, sleepyhead, sleepyheads, sleepy, sleepiness
"This just in: there's no such thing as breaking news."
'Stocks dropped on news that the only certainty in life is 'uncertainty'.'
'Let me rephrase your question and answer with a 10 second sound bite to catch the next news cycle.'