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"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, this is Jack Kruthers on the toilet."
"What I've seen here is disturbing. It violates human rights and there will be congressional oversight."
"Well, I'm a little bit sleepy now, so that concludes our broadcast day."
"You know, it's O.K. to skip a news cycle."
"So, for Ralph, Betsy, and the rest of us here at Action News, good night!"
"...And now for the local news."
"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."
CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."
"A new poll shows more than 50 percent of Americans do not believe the news media."
'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'
'For the next sixty seconds, this station will totally freak out....'