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"How come people die in alphabetical order...?"
"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."
"To avoid trouble, our newspaper will go without controversial stories, pictures and cartoons. From now on, we're just publishing white pages."
Editor hanging himself, "Hold the front page."
'Tiling a Bathroom for a Crossword Puzzle Editor.'
The search for a new advice columnist continues.
"Sales wants to change the headline, apparently the truth isn't marketable."
"Was the perpetrator an immigrant? No? Damn. . . do immigrants live in his neighbourhood? Has he ever been abroad? No? Rats. . . Wait! Does he like garlic? Yes? Great!! Let's print the story!!!"