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"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."
"Should newsrooms call the denunciation of jews by Hitler "racist"? Our all-aryan panel is here to discuss."
"Our newsroom added a climate change desk."
'Boom or bust?'
"Now over to the weather desk for a detailed report."
'Hurricane Limey is now pummelling the Florida coast, as a result of BBC reporters flapping their hands for dramatic effect.'
'Oh, that's our embedded troop.'
'What we're looking for is a small, localised war, to take people's minds off the economy.'
Newsroom: 'Police are on the lookout for a robber dubbed the 'if you write about me I'll hunt you down like a dog' bandit.'
Editor says to journalist: 'I'm looking for a reporter who is imaginative. I did just say 'investigative', didn't I?'
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"Uh huh. Uh huh Wait. Is that 'to be or not to be' statement on or off the record?"
"I like it. Let's just punch up the bias a bit."
"It's always LAST MONTH with you isn't it? The 31st was YESTERDAY, so say so!"