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''AAAIIIGGGHHH'...So would that be a 'yes' to the question 'I believe my needs are understood'?'
'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'
'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'
'Due to cutbacks we've had to accept a sponsor for your stitches.'
'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'
'I understand you've had some trouble with your breast implants.'
'I've had to book my appointment two weeks in advance, so we'll both sit here until I feel unwell.'
'75% of our resources are taken up dealing with the aged and infirm...and that's just the staff!'
'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'
'He's worried that the 20% that changes is the only 20% he knows!'
'He decided to celebrate meeting his QOF targets by doing a cartwheel...wrecked his knee and has to wait 26 weeks to see a consultant.'
The NHS Response to Change: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Wouldn't know Evil if it Sat on His Face.
'Having conducted a comprehensive analysis of dozens of subsets of data from a wide range of sources we've confirmed that the likely answer is 36...now we just need to identify the question.'
'But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring.'
'In principal we're happy with the 'trust' idea...as long as it's properly monitored and regulated.'
'I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead but I came in for a second opinion.'
Stress on GPs
'Actually I think you'll find it's really more like this.'
'She's going to need a prescription for light-headedness, She fainted when I told her how much her meds cost,'
Tags:pharmacy, pharmacies, pharmacist, pharmacists, medication, medications, light-headed, light headed, faint, faints, fainting, fainted, fainter, fainters, cost, costs, costing, bill, bills, billing, biller, billers, prescription, prescriptions, drug, medicare, nhs, health insurance, charges, close to home
'I'll be back to address your needs as soon as the Government's White paper has identified what they are!'
'Oh! Boy I can hardly believe it...I've never seen things going so well!'
'We wouldn't dream of blaming you...'
'This is nurse Rochester, if there's anything worrying you she's the person to share your concerns with so that they get recorded and filed properly.'
'And this is Mr Proctor, he manages the hospitals whistleblowing support team.'