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"They no longer think Brexit will involve us getting £350 million a week, but we are getting a new stapler and some old copies of The Lancet!"
Surgeons cut apart the health budget with an axe.
"The bad news that he was knocked down by an ambulance but the good news is that it's done wonders for our response times!"
"The hospital spent too much on consultants so we've had to cancel the custard!"
Remaining positive about the NHS.
"As part of our attempt to save £22 billion in future Nurse Partridge will be stewing your medication from twigs and pigeon vomit!"
'The ward 'Christmas Festivities' have had to be cut...but management say patients can still use the office to photocopy your bottoms.'
Coalition cuts: 'Hmm! Where to START?'
"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."
"Eureka! The first N.H.S.surgical extraction of a patient's credit card."
NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital
"Sorry, bad cuts in the NHS budget."
"We've been told that we can't leave patients on trolleys in the corridors, so we are moving them into the car park."