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"If you no longer wish to receive calls about special offers, press any key. But not the same one you pressed last time because that obviously didn't work."
Tags:call, calls, phone call, phone calls, technology, tech, smart phone, smart phones, automated message, computer, computers, customer service, frustrating, frustrated, infuriating, infuriated, automated messaging, modern life, middle age, middle aged, unsubscribe, unsubscribing, subscribe, subscription, subscriptions, notification, notifications
Even more watch notifications
'What do you mean there's no room for the 'no vacancy' sign?'
"You have new mail!"
Weird things I do because of the internet
'A dynamite sales idea, Lou. I'm just sorry I have to notify the police.'
"Mr. Culner is survived by his wife, the former Janice Dexter; one son, Horace, Jr.; and three grandchildren."
Tags:grandparent, grandparents, grandfather, grandfathers, granddad, granddads, grandpa, grandpas, grandchild, grandson, grandsons, granddaughter, granddaughters, reading, reading to children, quality time, obituary, obituaries, newspaper, newspapers, media, notification, notifications, family, families, death, dead, die, died, dying
Out for a spell.
"Sorry we forgot your birthday, Son. We didn't get any notifications on Facebook."
Tags:social media, birthday, forgetting, forgot, forget, forgetful, society, internet, computers, notification, notifications, reminder, reminders, parents, parenting, parent, mean, sad, son, child, children, kid, kids, mum, dad, mom, virtual, let slip, slip, apology, apologise, excuse, excuses, apologize, apologies
"How cute! A smiley face on my pink slip."
Tags:smiley, smileys, smile, smiles, smiley face, smiley faces, pink slip, pink slips, fire, fired, fires, sack, sacks, sacking, sackings, firings, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, corporate downsizing, corporate culture, bad news, deliver, delivers, delivering, delivery, deliveries, notice, notices, notification, notifications, optimist, optimists, glass half full
"The internet wants to destroy your productivity."
Tags:modern life, modern times, modern technology, modern technologies, the internet, computer, computers, pc, pcs, notification, notifications, computer notification, computer notification, productivity, unproductive, attention span, attention spans, short attention span, consent, consenting, asking consent, time wasting, time waster, wasting time, the internet, the web, social network, social networks, social networking, social media
"His productivity apps pushed him to an early grave."
Tags:productivity, efficiency, work, over-work, stress, app, apps, computer, computers, work-related stress, mental health, death, illness, health, burn-out, burnout, burned out, push notifications, notifications, grave, graveyard, buried, funeral, pay respects, productive, productivity, dead, death, untimely, over productive, efficient, drained, exhausted, cemetery
A bodiless head sits and eats dinner, while the headless body has a sign which reads 'Out to lunch back at 1:00'
You're just around the corner from another piece of cheese. Are you sure you want to quit now?
Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/
'Eat popcorn and watch crime zone' sign.
My other vehicle is a toboggan.
Tags:christmas, xmas, father christmas, santa claus, santa, st nick, saint nick, st nicholas, saint nicholas, vehicle, vehicles, sleigh, sleighs, toboggan, toboggans, park, parks, parking, parked, shop, shops, shopping, shopper, shoppers, notice, notices, notification, notifications, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Kellmeyer just put in his two week notice.'
"Post that memo upside down... then everyone will try to read it."
Tags:duck, ducks, bird, birds, hunter, hunters, hunt, hunts, hunting, hunted, prey, preys, pager, pagers, bleeper, bleepers, quack, quacks, quacking, paging, paged, give away, give aways, notification, notifications, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, notify, notifies, beep, bleep, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"Is there anyone else we can notify besides you dog?"
'Going anywhere nice?'
'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'
'I am becoming a jerk. Get a memo to all departments.'