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''AAAIIIGGGHHH'...So would that be a 'yes' to the question 'I believe my needs are understood'?'
'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'
'It's out new method for determining who we should treat first. We take people in order of how loud they scream.'
I.V. snap in elevator.
'OK, Mr. Nurtz. Time to get you prepped for surgery.'
"We're running a little behind, so I'd like each of you to ask yourself, 'Am I really that sick, or would I just be wasting the doctor' valuable time?'"
A doctor looks at a nurse and imagines a skeleton
Tags:doctor, doctors, nurse, nurse, 1940s nurse, 1950s nurse, hospital, hospitals, skeleton, skeletons, x-ray, x-rays, professional, professionalism, professionals, vintage cartoon, vintage cartoons, 1940s, 1950s, colleague, colleagues, radiologist, radiologists, bone, bones, orthopaedic surgeons, orthopaedic surgeon
Batman at the Maternity Ward
Tags:maternity ward, maternity wards, maternity unit, maternity units, maternity clinic, maternity clinics, nurse, newborn, newborns, nursery, nurseries, baby, babies, infant, infants, father, fathers, fatherhood, taking after your dad, taking after your dads, superhero, superheroes, super hero, super heroes, comic book, comic books, comic book character, comic book characters, superhero movie, superhero movies, crime fighter, crime fighters, superhero life, life of a superhero, new dad, new dads, new father, new fathers, father's pride, dad's pride, pride
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Smith, but our tests show your child is a changeling left by the fairies."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, exam, exams, examination, examinations, test, tests, testing, genetic testing, dna testing, d.n.a. testing, dna test, dna tests, d.n.a. test, d.n.a. tests, genetic test, genetic tests, parentage, paternity, maternity, changeling, changelings, fairy, fairies, faerie, faeries, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, family, families, adopted, adoption, adoptions, strange, unusual, fantasy, science-fiction, sci-fi, horror, myth, myths, legend, legends, folklore, biology, science, creature, creatures
Rate your pain...
'The doctor doesn't like computers, he prefers to lose patients' records the old fashioned way.'
'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'
'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'
"Have your pillows been plumped this morning?"
'Mrs. Cranley! You need to sign this HIPAA privacy form before the doctor can look at those warts on your stomach!'
'It's not looking good. His pulse is up to 202 just from getting out of the chair and stepping on to the treadmill.'
'The hospital bought 50 of them to help with the nursing shortage.'
'I'm past the liver, and there's the inflamed gallbladder. ... OK, switch us back to the game...'
Tags:surgeon, surgery, surgeons, nurse, game, games, gaming, match, matches, matching, score, see the score, scores, scored, scoring, inflamed gallbladder, gallbladder, gallbladders, watching the game, the game, watch, watching, watches, put the game on, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"I'm just going to hook you up to the machine, so it will look like we're doing something for you."
Tags:nurse, patient, patients, hospital, hospitals, hospital ward, hospital wards, ill, illness, in patient, in patients, modern technology, modern technologies, medical technology, medical technologies, doctor, doctors, md, mds, patient care, care standards, deceive, deceptive, trick, tricks, trickery, placebo, the placebo effect
"Oh my, your fever's way down."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, death, dead, dead body, dead bodies, corpse, corpses, fever, fevers, temperature, temperatures, low temperature, body temperature, thermometer, thermometers, universal healthcare, universal health care, socialised medicine, socialized medicine, wait times, waiting, medicare, health insurance, too late, bad nurse, bad nurses, uncaring, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, malpractice, medical malpractice
'Nurse Jenny is here to help with your physical therapy.'
'We don't have to anesthetize patients anymore. I just walk in with this and they pass out in a second.'
"Welcome to the I.V. league."
Tags:iv drip, iv drips, i.v. drip, i'v' drips, university, universities, top university, top universities, good university, good universities, doctor, doctors, md, mds, m.d.s, m.d., hospital, hospitals, nurse, welcome, welcomes, medical equipment, drip, drips, hospital drip, hospital drips, intravenous therapy
'This is an 'old person', or if you want to use the more technical term, a 'bedblocker'.'
'This is the discharge nurse, she'll be able to tell you about all the services you aren't able to get any more when you leave.'