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'My god, he's insane.'
The Humpty Syndrome: 'Hmm...Up until now, I never had the urge to sit on a wall...'
"I'll try to be more like the owl if you'll be more like the pussycat."
Tags:the owl and the pussycat, edward lear, marital problem, marital problems, marriage problem, marriage problems, flamenco, flamencos, cat, cats, poodle, poodles, dog, dogs, canine, canines, poem, poems, poet, poets, poetry, fantasy, fantasies, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, nursery song, nursery songs
'It says right here, Mr. Dumpty, may cause dizziness and affect balance.'
Old MacDonald Had An Optometrist
Tags:optometrist, optometrists, optometry, optician, opticians, eye doctor, eye doctors, eye-doctor, eye-doctors, eye chart, eye charts, eye test, eye tests, eye exam, eye exams, eye examination, eye examinations, sight test, sight tests, sight chart, sight charts, old macdonald had a farm, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, nursery song, nursery songs
"That's what I mean by going the extra mile."
Tags:work ethic, work ethics, workload, workloads, work-load, work-loads, cow jumps over the moon, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, nursery song, nursery songs, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy-tale, fairy-tales, hard worker, hard workers, hard working, extra mile, cow, cows, cattle, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, managements
"Eventually, I'd like to see you able to put yourself back together."
Tags:humpty dumpty, humpty-dumpty, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, nursery song, nursery songs, children's character, children's characters, broken egg, broken eggs, therapist, therapists, therapy, shrink, shrinks, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, mental health, mental patient, mental patients
Mrs. Hubbard's Pies
"She cut off his what with a carving knife?"
Tags:bobbitt procedure, bobbittmania, bobbittized punishment, bobbittize, three blind mice, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, nursery song, nursery songs, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, mouse, mice, farmer's wife, tail, tails, domestic violence, domestic abuse, assault, assaults
'Is it near a school?'
They say history repeats itself, and this time, they were ready. . .
'Mary had a little smartphone. It's case was white as snow. Everywhere that Mary went, her phone was sure to go.'
Jack and Jill
"We're raising the children as forks."
Tags:fork, forks, spoon, spoons, dish, dishes, bowl, bowls, hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, parenting style, parenting styles, parenting technique, parenting techniques, parenting method, parenting methods, child raising, child-raising, child rearing, child-rearing, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, nursery song, nursery songs, poem, poems, nonsense poem, nonsense poems
"You heard of Jack Frost? Meet Jill."
Tags:jack frost, jack and jill, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, nursery song, nursery songs, nursery story, nursery stories, cold, coldness, singles market, singles markets, singles bar, singles bars, date, dates, love life, love-life, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairytale, fairytales, fairy story, fairy stories
Jack B. Nimble simulates jumping over a candlestick.
"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily..."
Tags:punting, punt, punts, boat, boats, rowboat, rowboats, row boat, row boats, boating, summertime, summertimes, water sports, congestion, traffic jam, traffic jams, traffic queue, traffic queues, nursery song, nursery songs, boat pond, boat ponds, new york, central park, row, rowing, row row row your boat, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, hobby, overcrowded, boating pond, sailor, sailors, sailing
'And this little e-mail went 'Re: Re: Re;' all across the subject line.'
Humpty Dumpty sits on the wall and a chef with a large frying and a spatchella waits suspiciously below.
'I've got a bad feeling about this.'
Mr. Dumpty Lawyers Up
'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'
'Do you have industrial strength instant glue?'
"That's Apple Pie, right Grammie...There's not a lot of Blackbirds baked inside like that nursery rhyme you sing, right?"
"We want to know why piggy number three gets roast beef, and we get this slop!"