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'I told you nylon carpets were a mistake.'
"It's not cotton, honey. It's nylon quilted to polyester. The leaves and trim are twenty per cent acrylic and eighty per cent modacrylic, and the flowers are acetate. The backing is polypropylene. Go to bed."
Radiant, yet flammable.
'Unfortunately, being covered with wool, I'm often zapped by static discharges...'
House Painter: Oh great, what a day. Now I've got another stocking in my ladder!
Woman: 'Ohh, great! Just what I need! A ladder in my stocking!'