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'Amazing... the patterns are the same!'
'Buy... sell... buy... sell... buy...'
Are you really sure you want to go back in there?
'And why is liquidity so important to you?'
'In today's action, the Dow Jones Industrial Average cratered, then soared, then swooned, then skyrocketed, then plummeted, then rebounded, and finally threw up.'
'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'
'Honey! Great news! There's a new ETF!'
"What do you mean, the market rallied?"
'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'
'Ready for another roll of the dice?'
'Sounds of the NYSE, 50c' on sale on a beach.
NYSE - Since the crash of 1987, all seats are equipped with air bags.
'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''
"All this for getting out when the getting was good."
Businessman with various investment plan stickers on his briefcase
"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."
"Of course I'm in favor of free markets -- as long as they're heavily taxed and regulated."
'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'
'As a new investor, you'll be interested to know that the value of stocks are determined by the collective wisdom of all buyers and sellers.'
'Listen, there's over $2 trillion sitting on the sidelines, Hookwell. It's your job to see it gets brought into the game!'
'If this stock market was a horse, they'd put it out of its misery.'
'Cheer up, Bob, only 6 hours and 28 minutes until the stock market closes.'
'Okay, Honey, you're all set to trade today--see you at 6.'
'It's not like it's been a year without accomplishments. How about we highlight the repaving of the parking lot in the annual report?'
'Well, if that's how you feel about my past investment recommendations, perhaps you'd be happier elsewhere.'