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"You've reached 911, and there's someone here who wants to say hello."
Tags:say hello, saying hello, pet, pets, pet lover, pet lovers, cat, cats, cat lover, cat lovers, 911, emergency, emergencies, emergency operator, emergency operators, cute, cuteness, overly cute, casual, out-of-place, police, call the police, calling the police, annoying, annoyance, annoyances, modern life, cat owner, cat owners, cat person, cat people, feline, felines, hold, holds, holding, on hold, emergency response, emergency responses, emergency response system, emergency response systems
"Before we start, have you folks considered upgrading to Platinum Élite membership?"
Tags:fire, fires, fireman, firemen, firefighter, firefighters, member, membership, memberships, premium membership, premium memberships, premium member, premium members, upgrade, upgrades, upgrading, libertarian, libertarians, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, emergency, emergencies, emergency worker, emergency workers, 911, pushy, pushiness, salesman, salesperson, salespeople
Tags:modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, phone, phones, modern technology, modern technologies, cellphone, cellphones, mobile phone, mobile phones, help, drown, drowning, lost at sea, emergency service, emergency services, coast guard, coast guards, convenient, convenience, calling for help, 999, 911, telephone, telephones
"I tried 911. They're only accepting the seventh caller."
Tags:phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, calling, phone call, phone calls, telephone call, telephone calls, 911, calling 911, 9-1-1, 999, calling 999, 9-9-9, caller, callers, accepting, seventh caller, 7th caller, radio, radio show, radio shows, entertainment, calling in, calling-in, call-in, call in, competition, competitions, contest, contests, operator, operators, calling the police, calling the cops, emergency, emergencies, emergency call, emergency calls
'911..I'd like to report a crime...identity theft...I've become my mother!'
"My God, now what?"
Tags:emergency number, emergency numbers, emergency, emergencies, 911, 999, law enforcement, cloud formation, cloud formations, police, cop, cops, crisis, crisis, disaster, disasters, natural disaster, natural disasters, paramedic, paramedics, super hero, superhero, superheroes, super heroes, super-hero, super-heroes
Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.
"I'm sorry, all the emergency services are busy at the moment - please hold."
'Hello, 911? I'm trapped on a broken escalator!'
'Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.'
"I'm sorry, sir, but 311 cannot bring you hangover nachos."
Tags:hangover, hangovers, hung over, nacho, nachos, munchies, drunk, drunk food, drunk foods, drunken, drunken night, drunken nights, hangover cure, hangover cures, 911, emergency, emergencies, emergency number, emergency numbers, reject, rejection, rejections, request, requests, 311, non-emergency number, non-emergency numbers, non-emergency service, non-emergency services
Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.
"I'd like to report some bad guys."
Tags:old west, wild west, western, westerns, film, films, mid-west, midwest, regional, cowboy, cowboys, rancher, ranchers, ranger, rangers, desert, deserts, middle of nowhere, middle of the desert, report, reporting, victim, victims, calling 911, 911, calling 999, 999, pants, trousers, bad guy, bad guys, stolen, robbed, robbery, robberies, call, calls, crime against fashion, fashion crimes, fashion, fashion victim, fashion victims
"Yes. I heard a scream and a cry for help. And then there was some very ominous music."
Tags:ominous music, gunshot, gunshots, gun shot, gun shots, gun-shot, gun-shots, gun, guns, 999, 911, emergency number, emergency numbers, cop, cops, policemen, policeman, emergency response, emergency responses, rescue, drama, dramas, dramatic music, cop drama, cop dramas, police drama, police dramas
'No I'm sorry madam, this is the celebrity murder squad'.
"It's Okay!! I just called 9-1-1!!!"
Tags:cavemen, caveman, prehistoric, prehistory, neanderthal, neanderthals, emergency number, emergency numbers, 911, 999, emergency service, emergency services, dinosaur, dinosaurs, pterodactyls, pterodactyl, pterodactylus, pteranodon, pteranodons, hunter-gatherer, hunter-gathers, hunter, hunters, gatherer, gatherers, primitive civilisation, primitive civilization, early civilization, early civilisation
"911? My husband's unresponsive."
Tags:emergency, emergencies, 911, emergency services, ambulance, ambulances, medical emergency, unresponsive, out cold, unconscious, sport, sports, sports fan, sports fans, football, american football, super bowl, football fan, football fans, sports lover, sports lovers, glued to the tv, husband, husbands, wife, wives, sports hater, hate sports, relationship stereotypes
Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'
"Suspicious package under the Christmas tree? OK, please just stay calm and remain on the line."
'I need an officer to respond to a report of a stolen donut truck.'
'I said he needs an ambulance! Not ambiance!'
'Hello, 911? It's my husband! I don't know what's wrong with him. He said there's nothing on TV and he just wants to talk!'
'I can't call 911, Merle! You have my cell phone!'