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'Did you cut your lip shaving or is the bandage across your mouth evidence you want to listen to me?'
Voter I.D. Law
'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'
'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'
'The dollar soared on news that, through genetics engineering, money might soon grow on trees.'
'You say you were trying to squirm your way out of an audit?'
'On Mondays & Tuesdays, Dr. Pruess prractices conventional medicine; on Thursdays & Fridays, he practices alternative medicine.'
"Sorry we're late, Your Honor. My watch seems to be missing."
'Assuming I am a hypochondriac, couldn't that condition be brought on by a brain tumor?'
I'm referring you to a specialist who knows how to deal with HMO's.
No, I am not 'torturing' you, I am 'de-briefing 'you.
'It's not really a growth OR a value portfolio. It's more of a feel-good portfolio.'
'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'
'It's a nasty little rash, nothing to worry about!'
Management vs. Secretaries Scrabble Tournament
Barbecuing a bit of a dragon
'I'm fine. It's my standard of living that's ailing.'
'It makes me seem so insignificant!'
M.D. Eye,Ear,Nose,Throat and Wallet.
'Dr Livingston...Thank God...Any chance of you putting me on your practice list.'
'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'
Halitosis clinic - 'Say 'Ahhh.' '
'So, what makes you think you were switched at birth?'
Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.