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"Shall I put the strawberry in now?"
"And would you describe yourself as 'active', 'very active', or a 'lardy arse waste of space'?"
"Changing your Facebook profile does not count as exercise!"
"'Eat less and exercise more'. . . It's the only thing proven to work, but how do we monetise it?"
"It's got near PERFECT ingredients, dirt cheap to make, huge sugar content and a vast profit margin."
"I'm thinking of getting a new one, this one can hardly make it to the end of the road."
"They're definitely overweight when they have their gravitational field."
"The budget wouldn't stretch to a gastric band."
"When I said I needed to look at your diet I meant a list!"
"We all have different ways of dealing with rejection. . . I find going to bed with 10 litres of choc chip ice cream works for me."