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"I'm really going to miss getting steamed at Anthony Lewis."
Tags:angry, anger, getting angry, steamed at, steamed, mad, mad at, journalist, journalists, journalism, writer, writers, newpaper, newspapers, news, broadsheet, broadsheets, differing views, different views, points of view, p.o.v., perspectives, obituary, obituaries, death, dead, died, public figure, public figures
Lawyer lists his billable hours on tombstone.
"He died alone with his family."
"Says here he leaves behind a wife, two children, and forty-seven Twitter followers."
Here Lies Frederick Jones - Verbal: 680....Math: 720.
Tags:death, cemeteries, scholastic aptitude test, sat, sats, s.a.t., test, tests, exam, exams, examination, examinations, education, incompetent, incompetents, college, high school, tombstone, tombstones, headstone, headstones, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, grave, graves, epitaph, epitaphs, eulogy, eulogies, obituary, obituaries, exam results, test results, sats results
"Looks like we've been bumped from the financials to the obituaries."
A man reads the obituary and compares his age to the deceased.
Tags:age, obit, obits, obituary, obituaries, dead, dying, die, dies, mortality, mortal, mortals, long life, long lives, short life, short lives, compare, compares, feel your age, feeling your age, ageing, aging, grow old, grows old, growing old, comparison, comparisons, insecure, insecurity, insecurities
"Why are you reading obituaries?""To manage expectations..."
Tags:obituaries, obituary, manage expectations, managing expectations, reading, read, reads, death, dead, died, low expectations, keeping expectations low, colleague, colleagues, annoying colleague, annoying colleagues, hate my job, hate ones job, hate your job, hating your job, relatonship, relationships, bad relationship, bad relationships, couple, couples, unhappy couple, unhappy couples
The Moses of his nation.
"Line two. Obituary fact checker."
Tags:fake news, lie, lying, obituary, obituaries, exaggerate, exaggerating, exaggeration, exaggerations, fact check, fact checking, fact checker, fact checkers, self important, self importance, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, self aggrandising, self-aggrandising, self aggrandzing, self-aggrandzing, conceit, conceited, corrupt, corruption, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals
'He was a great writer'
"How come people die in alphabetical order...?"
Tuned In, Turned On, Dropped Out, Dropped In, Worked Out, Saved Up, Dropped Dead.
Tags:beatniks, hippies, tune in, turn on, drop out, death, cemeteries, exercise, savings, language, slogans, tombstone, tombstones, tomb, tombs, grave, graves, graveyard, graveyards, cemetery, eulogy, eulogies, obituary, obituaries, inscription, inscriptions, epitaph, epitaphs, headstone, headstones, life cycle, life-cycle
'His greatest achievement was to write a glowing obituary about himself.'
"He always said he wanted his last words to be as pithy as possible."
"It's the obituaries edition."
"Mr. Culner is survived by his wife, the former Janice Dexter; one son, Horace, Jr.; and three grandchildren."
Tags:grandparent, grandparents, grandfather, grandfathers, granddad, granddads, grandpa, grandpas, grandchild, grandson, grandsons, granddaughter, granddaughters, reading, reading to children, quality time, obituary, obituaries, newspaper, newspapers, media, notification, notifications, family, families, death, dead, die, died, dying
"He was a great guy. But as long as I've known him, he had a habit of always stealing the spotlight from me."
Tags:memorial service, memorial services, memorial, memorials, funeral, funerals, funeral service, funeral services, speech, speeches, obituary, obituaries, eulogy, eulogies, attention stealing, centre of attention, center of attention, hogging the spotlight, stealing the spotlight, attention seeker, attention seekers
"Floyd had two loves: Betting on the races and celebrating the holidays. Visiting the dog track dressed up as the Easter Bunny may have seemed a good idea at first..."
Tags:funeral, funerals, death, dead, easter, easter bunny, easter rabbit, race track, race tracks, dog race, dog races, extra crispy, dog, dogs, dog track, gambling, races, dog attack, dog attacks, eulogy, eulogies, obituary, obituaries, mourner, mourners, mourning, animal attacks, dark humor, bad idea, bad ideas
'Kevin was plagued since childhood by fears of a monster under his bed, but eventually overcame it until he and his monster became inseparable best friends.'
Free at last from all forms of electronic and digital interconnectedness!
Tags:social media, social network, social networks, social networking, addiction, addictions, overuse, eulogy, eulogies, obituary, obituaries, digital age, internet of things, iot, grave, graves, gravestone, gravestones, graveyard, graveyards, cemetery, cemeteries, inscription, inscriptions, modern life
'His possessions were not important to him. Other people's possessions, however, meant a great deal to him.'
Grim Reaper visiting bucket list website.
'Hey, not on the obituaries! Show some respect!'