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"Everything's more fun with Muppets!"
Tags:execution, executions, children's show, children's shows, childrens show, childrens shows, kid, kids, audience, audiences, child, children, inappropriate, cute, evil, fun, guillotine, capital punishment, death penalty, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, lighten up, lightening up, shock, offense, offence
Dining Infraction, Too Much Tabouli on the Tie!
Tags:dinner, dinners, dinner time, tabouli, infraction, infractions, referee, referees, foul, fouls, messy eater, messy eaters, impolite, uncivilised, uncivilized, eating out, dining out, bad eater, bad eaters, offense, offenses, infringe, infringement, infringements, offence, offences, umpire, umpires
"And if you prick me, do I not bleed?"
Tags:merchant of venice, shakespeare, quote, quotes, quotation, if you prick me do i not bleed, old man, old men, old age, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, youth, youthful, sex appeal, lost youth, misspent youth, jogger, joggers, healthy, healthiness, offend, offends, offense, offenses, offence, offences, hurtful, reminder, reminders, mortality, elder, elders, elderly
"How much ground do you want to stand?"
Tags:gun, guns, gun law, shoot, shooting, rifle, rifles, automatic, automatic rifles, semi-automatic, stand your ground, state, stand your ground state, aggressive, defense, defence, stand your ground law, stand-your-ground, law, laws, travyon martin, george zimmerman, offense, attack, attacking, overkill, over the top, ott, sarcasm, regulation, regulations, gun regulations
'Sorry, may bad. I thought you were texting.'
'Don't be offended. It's their customary greeting.'
"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."
Tags:baby, babies, it's a boy, it's a girl, child, children, having kids, kid, kids, having children, have children, regulation, regulations, genders, politically correct, political correctness, pc, p.c., pc culture, p.c. culture, federal government, privacy, private, offense, offended, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, family, families, parent, parents, political
"I take serious offense to their offense. And I am feeling very defensive about our defense. Would somebody give me a damn hug? Now Please?"
'Excuse me! My eyes are up here!'
Tags:statue, statues, offensive statue, offensive statues, statue controversy, statue controversies, statue scandal, statue scandals, offence, offense, offensive, easily offended, sensitive, sensitivity, overly sensitive, insensitive, insensitivity, historically insensitive, appalled, politically correct, pc, political correctness, unpc, unpolitically correct
Tricking soldiers attacking with a battering ram.
Tags:castle, castles, siege, sieges, siege tactic, siege tactics, siege warfare, warfare, medieval, middle ages, attack, attacking, battering ram, balustrades, battlements, besieged, offense, trick, trickery, cunning, tactics, tactical, advantage, ruse, strategy, foul play, fair play, fake, sham, cliff, fall, falling, combat, war, art of war
'No, officer, I wasn't driving erratically while talking on the cell phone. I was text messaging.'
"And then she slapped my face, injuring my beard."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, suit, suits, meeting, assault, assaulted, offended, offense, beard, beards, facial hair, over reaction, overreaction, over react, overreact, slap, slapped, slapstick, slap stick, physical comedy, wimp, wimpy, victim, fashion victim, injury, injured, absurd, absurdity, fashion, fashionable, men, man, breakup, breakups, break-up, break-ups, breaking up, hipster, hipsters
'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'
No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal
Tags:ticket, tickets, parking ticket, parking violation, parking violations, no parking, government, politics, political, law, laws, law and order, crimes, misdemeanour, misdemeanor, offense, offence, donald, manes, nyc, new york city, politician, politicians, 1986, parking violations bureau, scandal, scandals, scandalous, sign, signs, parking meter, parking meters, larceny, grand larceny, washington dc, washington, political scandal, political scandals
'Take it outside!'
'Honestly, Clara, you know I don't like auctions anyway, but this...!'
"Your teeth remind me of Stonehenge."
Tags:stonehenge, dentist, dentists, dentistry, teeth, bad teeth, crooked teeth, checkup, check up, checkups, check ups, examine, examines, examining, yellow teeth, tooth, tooth pain, dentist office, dentists office, dentist's office, dentist offices, dentists offices, dentist's offices, insult, insulted, insults, insulting, offense, offence, offensive, hurtful, painful, uncomfortable, upsetting
"Good evening and welcome to a very special newscast in which I do everything I can think of to get fired on air."
"As an animal lover, I find these images disturbing."
Tags:animal, animals, animal lover, painting, cave paintings, cave painting, cave drawing, cave drawings, animal rights, endangered, protection, protections, spear hunting, sensitive, sensitives, disturbing, overly sensitive, hypersensitiveness, oversensitive, deer, deers, offended, offense, prehistory
'Hello, how can I offend you?'
'He went that way, officer!'
'Hush puppies? Who named these things?'
"Don't take it personally. No one is getting as many credit card offers as before."
"My client would like 75 other offences taken into consideration for his Guinness Book of Records attempt."
Tags:court, court case, criminal court, court cases, criminal courts, high court, defendant, the accused, criminal, criminals, criminal offence, offense, charge, charges, barrister, barristers, lawyer, lawyers, law, laws, law courts, court of law, prosecution, attorney, attorneys, judge, judges, record breaker, record breakers, record-breaking, record-breaker, record-breakers, world record, world records