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"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."
Some Friends From Work
"For the sake of morale, Duffy, could you at least try to look stressed?"
"Look, I can snap my gum, my knuckles, or my temper...take your pick."
"It doesn't do you any good being depressed about your job, because you're stuck doing it for the rest of your life."
"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."