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"Okay, next I'm going to text your reflexes."
"Who should I examine first, you or your lawyer?"
'Cat's got his tongue.'
'You mean we've been conjoined twins all these years for nothing?'
"I can't have the wart removed, I just got the Wicked Witch role in 'Wizard of Oz'."
Ace Veterinary Clinic: Take a number and STAY.
'Don't even tell me it's a wart.'
"The adult version of a lollipop is NOT a $100 discount."
'What we'll do is rub some insurance money on it and see what happens.'
'You'll know this expensive sedative is working when you're no longer anxious about the cost.'
'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'
"It'll have to stay on until your vasectomy heals..."
Tags:cone of shame, cone, cones, doctors, patients, operations, vasectomies, itch, itching, scratch, scratches, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, doctor, patient, operation, follow-up, vasectomy, healing, office visit, exam room, doctors orders, doctor's orders, doctor's advice, doctors advice
'If I'm tired, the doc says 'go exercise,' but I'm fat,and he doesn't say 'go eat'!'
'I have to charge a lot for an office visit. How do you think I pay for MY health insurance?'
'Automatically debiting your checking account has made our billing a much less invasive operation.'
'Actually, this is very common around Valentine's Day'
'Ifeel really really good. Is there something wrong with me?'
'How long have you had this burning sensation?'
'Well, you have people pox.'
Why are the only doctors with current magazines eye doctors?
Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide
'Not THAT one! The BIG one on the top shelf!'
'Well, I'm afraid you have a yeast infection.'
"This tooth fell out, so he gave me a tip and left."
The New Age Dentist.