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A highly decorated Christmas tree
A dog dressed as a cowboy leans against a sign that reads "Armed response".
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, cowboy, cowboys, wild west, western, westerns, old west, shooting, weapon, weapons, firearm, firearms, gun, guns, gun control, firearms regulation, gun violence, gun crime, armed, armed response, holster, holsters, military, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, officer, officers, firearms unit, firearm units, armed unit, armed units, violence, violent, security, guard dog, guard dogs, guarding, law enforcement
"I have the first sergeant's permission to speak to the commanding officer. I am in love with your daughter, sir, and would like to marry her."
Tags:soldier, soldiers, ww2 solider, wwii soldiers, wartime love, love, marriage, proposal, proposals, hand in marriage, fathers permission, asking permission, brave, bravery, commanding officer, commanding officers, officer, officers, old fashioned traditions, traditions, vintage, vintage cartoon, vintage cartoons, wartime, 1940s
"Officer, everything in the world is bothering me."
Tags:police report, police reports, complaint, complain, complains, complaining, annoyance, annoyances, grievance, grievances, patrol, patrols, patrolling, bother, bothers, bothering, petty, pettiness, officer, officers, patrol officer, patrol officers, local police, police department, police departments, waste of time, wastes of time
"This one is for cybersecurity."
"Let's face it—I'm a bit of a control freak."
Tags:politics, politician, politicians, political, political leader, political leaders, government, governments, communism, communist, communists, leader, leaders, control freak, control freaks, military, general, generals, armed forces, soldier, soldiers, officer, officers, uniform, uniforms, combat
Since college admissions officers might see his Facebook page...
"I take it, General Sedgewick, you're about to propose a surgical strike."
Tags:doctor, doctors, medical, medicine, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, operation, operations, operating, surgical, strike, strikes, military, strategy, strategies, military strategy, military strategies, general, generals, officer, officers, meeting, meetings, business, propose, proposal, proposals, surgical strike, surgical strikes, military operation, military operations, wordplay, word play, attack, plan, plans, planning
"How old is a Major?"
Tags:major, majors, military rank, military ranks, officer, officers, age, age gap, age gaps, dating, date, dates, stupid question, stupid questions, silly question, silly questions, dumb blonde, dumb blondes, steroetypes, stereotypes, gender stereotype, gender stererotypes, naive, ingenue, 1940s high society, 1940s, vintage, vintage cartoon, vintage cartoons
'A square knot's a good start, but I'd like to see an alarm system and some deadbolts installed as well,'
Tags:shoe, shoes, boot, boots, security, securities, home, homes, live, lives, lived, alarm, alarms, system, systems, lace, laces, shoelace, shoelaces, knot, knots, tie, ties, tied, protect, protects, protections, protected, police, policeman, policemen, officer, officers, cop, cops, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"Anti-personnel land mines pose no threat to people, Colonel. Only to personnel."
Tags:land mine, land mines, anti-personnel, mine, mines, minefield, minefields, mine field, mine fields, military, military personnel, euphemisms, language, language trick, language tricks, kill, kills, killing, killings, murder, murders, murdering, military man, military men, general, generals, commander, commanders, army, armies, officer, officers
"Can we get more salt shakers to represent the enemy scum?"
'We are prepared to make you a loan, but first you have to prove that you really don't need it,'
"Let me try mine. It's made in China."
Tags:airline pilot, pilot, army, personnel, decorated, decorated officer, officer, official, armed forces, sergeant, corporal, major, general, generals, door, doors, card, key card, keycard, key cards, keycards, made in china, quality, manufacturing, manufacturing quality, quality assurance, lock, locked, locked out, technology, tech, security, secure, quality check, qa, q a, q.a, build quality, chinese industry, industry, china, chinese, american industry, industrial, mass produce, mass produced, mass-produce, mass-production, industrial superiority, made in america, made in, american manufacturing, manufactured, manufactured in america
"Do I know how fast I was going? Isn't that your job?"
Tags:word play, play on words, irony, ironic, police, policeman, police man, police officer, officer, officers, road, roads, highway, highways, interstate, inter state, drive, driving, drives, driven, drove, speed, speeding, speeding ticket, ticket, tickets, pulled over, pull over, motorcycle cop, motorbike cop, cop, cops, sports car, sports cars, sportscar, deadpan, dead pan, sarcasm, sarcastic, bad idea, bad ideas, highway patrol, moving violation, moving violations
"Easy, guys. There's a better way to find out who painted it."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, officer, officers, cop, cops, good cop, bad cop, interview, interviews, interrogation, interrogations, detective, detectives, mystery, mysteries, tied, tied up, tied to a chair, easy, art, painting, paintings, artwork, artworks, painter, painters, artist, artists, unknown, anonymous, unsigned, art expert, art experts, art appraiser, art appraisers, appraisal, appraisals
'Actually, I wanted you to touch your own nose.'
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, officer, officers, cop, cops, drunk, drunks, drink drive, drink drives, drink driving, drink driver, drink drivers, drunk driver, drunk drivers, sobriety tests, sobriety tests, dui, touch, touches, touching touched, nose, noses, mistake, mistakes, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Modern William Tell Uses An Air-Strike To Hit Apple
Tags:air strike, air strikes, drone strike, air force, drone, drones, air-strike, air-strikes, drone-strikes, militaries, military, army, armies, violent, violence, calling it in, call it in, general, generals, soldier, soldiers, officer, officers, modern warfare, war, warfare, modern war, modern life, technology, spin off, spin-off, spoof, spoofed, parody, parodies, parodied, william tell, folkstory, folkstories, folktale, folktales
"Put simply, the mission is to discover a potential enemy who could justify our three-hundred-billion-dollar defense budget."
Tags:military, general, generals, armed forces, war, wars, battle, battles, soldier, soldiers, officer, officers, military spending, military budget, defense, defence, defense budget, defence budget, usa, united states, america, politics, politician, politicians, political, political leader, political leaders, government, governments, president, presidents
A Brief History Of The Campaign
Tags:history, histories, military, military campaign, military campaigns, officer, officers, hair, hairstyle, hairstyles, hairloss, alopecia, bald, balding, stress, stressful, stressed, stress levels, position, positions, frontline, strategy, strategies, fallback, high ground, retreat, retreats, full-scale, rout, routs, routed, temporary, reinforcements, peacekeeping, international, permanent, force, forces, peacekeeper, peacekeepers, jargon, language, word play, wordplay
'Drop the can opener!'
Tags:cat, cats, feline, felines, police, policeman, policemen, officer, officers, cop, cops, law enforcement, pet, pets, petting, petted, can opener, can openers, tin opener, tin openers, gun point, gunpoint, freeze, freezes, freezing, order, orders, ordering, command, commands, commandingthe flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"O.K. That covers the last meal. Now, which would you prefer, hanging, electrocution, or lethal injection?"
Tags:prison, prisons, jail, jails, incarceration, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, prisoner, prisoners, criminal, criminal, punishments, capital punishment, death penalty, officer, officers, guard, guards, jailer, jailers, prison guard, prison guards, note, notes, questionnaire, questionnaires, survey, surveys, data collection, last meal, last meals, meal, meals, food, hanging, electrocution, lethal injection, execution, executions, methods of execution, condemned, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"And this is a crossword puzzle I'm working on."
Tags:military, officer, officers, general, generals, rank, ranks, medal, medals, pin, pins, lapel, lapels, lapel pin, lapel pins, decoration, decorations, award, awards, badge, badges, bar, bars, ribbon, ribbons, hero, heroes, heroism, bravery, service, service record, service records, record of service, crossword puzzle, crossword puzzles, crossword, crosswords, word puzzle, word puzzles, puzzle, puzzles, show-off, brag, display, hobby, hobbies, leisure, party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties
"This looks good."
Tags:general, generals, army, armies, four-star, four-star rank, military, rank, ranks, ranked, four star rank, four star, four star general, four star generals, four-star generals, four star general, restaurant, stars, restaurants, nato, north atlantic treaty organisation, north atlantic treaty organization, north atlantic alliance, admiral, admirals, air chief marshal, officer, officers, dining, eating, eat, food, foods, five star restaurant, star, stars, star restaurants, five-star restaurant, five star restaurants, five stars