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'I think we should both write our wills, just in case anything happens.'
Bumper Stickers for Seniors.
"I want an aisle seat in no smoking, lots of fresh air, proper maintenance, no cracks in the fuselage - and none of your frigging bug spray!"
Tags:airport, airports, air travel, air travels, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers, fussy customer, fussy customers, flight, flights, customer satisfaction, customer experience, customer experience, aisle seat, aisle seats, non-smoking, bug spray, big sprays, grump, grumpy, old lady, old ladies, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, pensioner, pensioners, old age, old-age
"He used to own a muscle car."
"So, how long have you been old?"
Tags:ageing, aging, ageing process, aging process, old, oldness, old age, old-age, old-aged, ageism, ageist, generation gap, generation gaps, self-conscious, elderly, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, pensioner, pensioners, senior, seniors, small talk, small-talk, rude, rudeness, bad manners, rude manners, cocktail party, cocktail parties, socially awkward, social awkwardness
"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, teen, teens, teenager, row, rows, rowing, teenage angst, teen angst, mom, moms, pensioner, pensioners, mum, mums, family life, family-life, motherhood, burden, burdens, financial burden, financial burdens, elderly parent, elderly parents, domestic, domestics, old age, old-age
"The knees are the first thing to go."
"Eventually, some of us shrivel."
'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'
"I'll distract him with my complete medical history, and then you can make your move."
Tags:medical history, medical histories, mugger, muggers, mugging, muggings, street crime, street crimes, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age, old-age, hold up, hold ups, hold-up, hold-ups, gun crime, gun crimes, distraction, distractions, bore, bores, bored, boring, boredom, escape plan, escape plans
The Angina Monologues
"Are you too old to remember all the advice you tried to give me when I was too young to care?"
Tags:pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, old age, old-age, oap, oaps, father, fathers, dad, dads, son, sons, relationship, advice, mentor, mentors, life lesson, life lessons, life-lesson, life-lessons, fatherly advice, good advice, wisdom, wise words, father-son talk, youth, youthful regrets, teenage rebellion, teenage rebellions, regret, father-son relationship
"And here I am at two years of age. Remember? Mom? Pop? No? Or how about this one. My first day of school. Anyone?"
Tags:photo album, photo albums, family photo, family photos, memory, memories, childhood, childhoods, memory loss, memory-loss, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age, old-age, pensioner, pensioners, childhood memory, childhood memories, dementia, alzheimer's disease, alzheimers, alzheimer's
"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"
"You talkin' to me?"
"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."
Tags:pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age, old-age, senior, seniors, retirement, retirements, middle age, middle-age, middle-aged, middle aged, grownup, grown-up, grown up, kid, kids, child, children, maturity, alone time, married life, family-life, family life, failure to launch, living with your parents, cutting, apron strings, live at home, living at home, burden, burdens, grow old, grows old, growing old, adult child, fly the coop, flying the coop
"Aren't normal people your age usually in 'Loving and Committed Relationships?'"
"Ah, to be young again."
Tags:youngster, youngsters, pencil, pencils, old age, old aged, old-age, old-aged, ageing, ageing process, aging process, aging, scribble, scribbles, drawing, drawings, reminisce, reminiscing, reminiscent, reminisce, reminiscing, youthful, youthfulness, generation gap, age gap, age gaps, age-gap, age-gaps, generational gap
Thinning Hair/ Erectile Dysfunction/ One Foot in the Grave.
Tags:one foot in the grave, guitar, guitars, guitar shop, guitar shops, musician, musicians, guitarist, guitarists, rock n roll, rock 'n' roll, rock and roll, thinning hair, hair loss, bald patch, ageing process, aging process, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senor citizens, oap, oaps, old age, old-age, denial, midlife crisis
"How's your old lady?"
"It's true. We do shrink as we get older."
"When I was young I worried about getting old. Now I worry about not being young enough in my old age."
"I wanted to give you a rose for every year you've lived, but it was impossible to get that many roses. Happy birthday dear!"
Tags:birthday, happy birthday, happy birthdays, birthdays, old age, old-age, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, gift, gifts, rose, roses, celebrations, celebration, congratulations, rose, roses, flower, flowers, restaurant, waiter, cake, birthday cake, candle, candles
"I better go. The grandkids are euthanizing Doris + me tonight."
Tags:grandkid, grankids, grandchild, euthanizing, euthanasia, euthanized, grandma, grandmas, grandmothers, granddad, granddads, grandfather, grandfathers, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age, old-age, assisted suicide, assisted suicides, population control, ageism, ageist, ageists
New-age traveller and old-age traveller